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Maybe I misunderstood him when he told me that. I had been super tipsy after all.
Plus, it didn’t work out with Ryan. I’m not sure I have enough pride left to risk getting involved with his older brother. What if that went south too?
I finish the phone call and focus on the practice. These men look like a pack of wolves chasing prey across a wintry landscape. I’m not big into hockey, but Ryan was. He had told me early on that he had a brother playing in the NHL and that he had grown up playing hockey too. Ryan chose to pursue business but always got wistful when he talked about quitting hockey.
“Hey!” the coach roars from the bench, striding toward the ice. “What the hell is going on?”
I watch as Ethan tosses his stick away and removes his gloves, ready for a fight. The player across from him looks confused since they’re on the same team. The rest of the team is already trying to break them apart before the brawl starts.
“He checked me!” Ethan growls, his words muffled by the mouthguard.
“So what, Matthews?” the coach yells, arms wide. “Save the macho energy for the actual game.”
“I didn’t even have the puck,” Ethan insists, but the coach isn’t having it.
“Box,” the coach points at the penalty box, which is right where I am, sending shivers down my spine. “Now.
Ethan groans, upset, but picks up his belongings from the ice and skates toward where I’m standing, passing by me like an angry shadow.
“Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” I tease, poking my head inside the box.
“Tell me about it,” and only then he spits out the mouthguard, and rubs off the saliva against the sleeve of his jersey.
My first reaction is to twist my nose in disgust, but then I remember, just over a week ago, that same saliva was all over my body. It is driving me nuts to think about experiencing that again.
I shake my head, trying to clear it.
“Am I to blame?” I ask, feeling self-conscious.
But Ethan just huffs without looking at me. Feeling affronted, I take a step forward, entering the penalty box. As I do, the overwhelming scent of testosterone and sweat hits me hard, making me cough unexpectedly.
“I think I just got hit with all the energy of every male who ever entered this space,” I try to joke.
“You shouldn’t be in here…” he murmurs.
“I know.” I sigh, crossing my arms. “Can I talk to you?”
And then I see his softer side emerge, still arrogant and smug, but also open, and gentle.
“Oh, how the tables have turned,” he goes. “You are the one who ran away from me at the airport last week when I tried to talk to you. And you’ve been avoiding me ever since.”
“I was feeling embarrassed, okay?” I hide my face in my hands. “How was I supposed to feel? I’m here thinking we just had fun, and you’re there wanting to give the news to your family? I mean, that would be a pretty awkward conversation.”
“It wasn’t like that.” He turns to me.
“It was exactly like that, Ethan.” I stand my ground.
He sighs, “I just felt an obligation to tell Ryan about us.”
I take a seat by his side. Ethan scoots over slightly, giving me space.
Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I say, “I think we both better figure things out between us and take our time doing so before you start telling your family anything. I mean, it was one night, Ethan, and we need to tread lightly considering this could appear scandalous.”
When I meet his gaze, I see him looking at me with a hint of desire.
“Don’t look at me like that…” I plead. His eyes are intense and warm, and that gaze makes me feel so exposed, as if I’m naked. “You’re putting too much pressure on me, Ethan.”
He reaches for my hand, his touch intrusive, but welcome at the same time. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I was just trying to do the right thing. I won’t say anything to Ryan unless we both decide it’s time.”
