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She purses her lips and sits up. “Should I be concerned that I’m half naked in your bed and you haven’t tried anything?”
I give her a half smile as I notice her state of undress for the first time. Fuck, I really have been distracted if I didn’t notice she’s only wearing a tiny silk camisole and matching shorts. I pull her to straddle me and rest my hands on her hips, sliding my hands underneath the soft material over her skin. “How is it going to be with your family?” I ask her.
“I don’t know,” she says sadly before biting down on her bottom lip. “They’ve never been like that with me.” She lets out a sigh. “Then again, I’ve never done anything…that they didn’t approve of.”
“Will they come around?”
“Ever?” she asks. “I think so?”
“Will you be able to live with it if they don’t?” I ask her the question I’ve been contemplating ever since her mother looked at us like Marissa was a stranger and I was the man who caused this situation. She doesn’t say anything and just looks off to the side like she’s considering a life that doesn’t include a relationship with her parents. “Will you be okay if they never approve of me or how we came to be together?”
“I can’t imagine if we continue down this road and you wanted to marry me or give them a grandchild, they’d hold onto their anger,” she says. I can hear the lilt in her voice and see the nervous look in her eyes over bringing up marriage. “I don’t mean tomorrow!”
“In a perfect world, I’d marry you tomorrow.” I grip her thighs tighter and give them a squeeze. She giggles before shifting slightly in my lap.
I don’t say what I want to say, which is that it feels like we will never live in that perfect world. First, it was my marriage and now it’s her parents’ reaction to said marriage, and that’s not even taking into account that she works for me and I don’t know how I’m going to handle HR.
“How about we let my parents get used to the idea before we spring that on them?” she says breaking me from my thoughts. I hold her steady as I try to stop her from moving against my dick but she continues to rock her hips against me. She leans over and hovers her mouth above mine. “They’ll come around.”
“I hate the thought that you have to wait for that. You live at home. Won’t that be difficult?”
“I’ve actually been thinking about moving out. Not just because of this, but I do have this big fancy salary now,” she jokes, “I can afford it.”
“That’s amazing. I’m really proud of you.” I force a smile and she frowns before climbing out of my lap.
“I feel like you’re shutting down on me.”
“I’m not.” I sit up. “This was just a lot. Your parents witnessed our first run-in with Holly and now they know and I don’t want to create a divide between you and your family.”
“You’re not! They were just surprised and in shock,” she argues.
“Maybe, but there’s a good chance that the shock will never wear off, and don’t tell me you don’t care, because I don’t believe that.” I know she cares and maybe today it doesn’t bother her, but at some point when the anger wears off and she misses her family, she may wish she’d done things differently.
She’s about to respond when the sound of her cell phone buzzing on the nightstand stops her. When she looks at it, she shakes her head. “It’s just my sister. I’ll call her back. Chris…I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not suggesting we end it because my parents aren’t thrilled about how we got together. It’s not the end of the world. I’ll talk to them.” She looks down at her hands in her lap before looking up at me somberly. “Unless this is just too much for you?”
“I didn’t say that. I’m thinking that this is too much for you. I hate that I’ve made things so hard for you by putting you through all my shit.”
“Well, how about you let me decide what’s hard for me?”
“I keep thinking about what your dad said. That you’ll wake up in five years and wish you hadn’t gone down this road with me.”
She’s silent for a moment before she speaks again. “Are you…breaking up with me?”
Her words hit me square in the chest and I hate the thought that after everything we’ve been through, we don’t end up together. “No. I want to be with you. I’ve always wanted to be with you, but should it be this complicated?”
She frowns and pulls a blanket around her, to cover up her body, and I hate that she’s feeling like she needs to shield herself from me. “I’m fairly certain you started this mountain of complications when you slept with me at our friend’s wedding three years ago.”
“I know,” I tell her because I did set all of this in motion and I don’t know if I had to do it all again if I would do anything differently.
“Okay, well it kind of feels like I’m having to talk you into being with me.” She gets off the bed and I see her moving towards the closet. “And I’m definitely not doing that.”
“You’re not. I want to be with you more than fucking anything.”
She comes out of the closet and she’s pulled a sweatshirt over her torso. “Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like it.”
“It’s just with work and your parents and…I kind of feel like I’ve fucked up your life.”
Her phone begins to ring again on the nightstand and she rolls her eyes before picking it up. “Autumn, this really isn’t—” She sighs. “Yes, it was kind of a mess, but can we talk about it later?” She looks at me before dropping to my couch in the corner with an exasperated sigh. “I don’t see why everyone has an opinion about my life.” She pauses and I can see the annoyance all over her face, making me wonder if Autumn, who’d previously been on our side despite our obstacles is now voicing a different opinion. “Fine, whatever. I’ll be home in the morning,” she says before hanging up the phone. “Well, my whole family thinks I’m making a huge mistake, and now you’re acting like you have one foot out of the door of this relationship.”
