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“You,” she says. “If you leave her for me, you go through what sounds like would be a very expensive and difficult and tedious divorce proceeding and then say things between us don’t work out? I don’t want you to resent me for blowing up your life and then I’m not even there when the dust settles.”
“I’d hope you’d stick around and be there.”
“I’m not saying I wouldn’t but we hardly know each other, Chris. It’s possible that our night of amazing sex won’t translate to an amazing relationship.”
I move towards her and I’m relieved that she doesn’t move away before I can wrap her in my arms. “We could get to know each other.” The door opens and in walks a different server and it’s not lost on me that it’s a man this time. He sets our drinks on the table before giving us both a curt nod and he leaves without another word. “How about we not label or define anything?” I suggest. “We just…get to know each other?”
“You’re married,” she whispers and sighs like she’s tired of saying it. She sits down and takes a sip of her drink before turning back to me. “When did things start to go south?” she asks and I’m taking it as a good sign that she didn’t flat-out tell me no.
“Two years in was when it got really bad but I can remember things as early as two months into our marriage.”
“Does she want kids?”
I shake my head because even if she wanted them, she was not getting them from me. “Her and I having kids is off the table.”
“Do you want kids?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “With the right woman.” I’m well aware that she’s twenty-one and I’m thirty-four so she’s probably not thinking about them tomorrow but she mentioned them earlier.
“You don’t sleep with her?”
“We don’t even sleep in the same bedroom,” I tell her. “I sleep in a different room and more often than not in my office.”
“If you…had a girlfriend…any girlfriend. Not. Me. Specifically,” she says, annunciating each word. “Would you even be able to stay the night with her?
A smile spreads across my face at the thought of falling asleep with her in my arms again. “Any night she wanted me to.”
“Well, I live at home with my parents, so it’s a moot point.”
“We could change that.”
“What?”
“We could go look for an apartment for you.”
“Chris, be serious. I’m not getting an apartment just for you to have a place to screw your girlfriend.”
The harshness of her words slides over me and I wish it didn’t sound so ugly. “No, but if it will make you happier and allow this potential boyfriend,” not necessarily me but I hope to God it would be, “to stay the night…” I trail off and she starts to protest but I hold a hand up. “I get that maybe that’s too much too fast. For now, maybe this woman and I would just go to my penthouse in the city.” I don’t suggest the idea of her staying there on a semi-permanent basis, but I wouldn’t hate the idea of it.
She narrows her eyes at me. “So, what is that, like…a fuckpad?” she says, looking thoroughly unamused by the thought.
“I do not call it that.” I wince.
“But you take women there.”
“I have,” I tell her honestly. “I’m not denying that I have a past, or that I’m married, or that I haven’t always treated women the way they deserve.” She asked for no bullshit and something tells me that Marissa will only respond to explicit honesty. “I’m telling you that you’ve been on my mind nonstop for three months. I haven’t so much as looked at another woman because you’re all I can think about. I know I fucked up by just leaving you that morning, but believe it or not, I was just trying to do the right thing. I was trying to avoid all of this because I know it’s messy and I’m complicated, but now you’ve walked back into my life and I really don’t want to let you go a second time.”
She doesn’t say anything and I wonder if she’s just letting what I said sink in. Her eyes dart around the room, before landing on the thirty-six long-stemmed roses sitting on the table before turning her gaze back to me. “I really hope you’re not lying to me.” Her voice is sad and I wonder if it’s just this situation in particular or if there’s something in her past that may make her unable to trust me.
I reach for her hand again and give it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry that I’ve given you a reason to think that I would.”
She bites her bottom lip and takes another sip of her drink. “I’m not saying yes.”
“Okay.”
“Or no.” Hope flares in my veins and I nod with a smile on my lips. “Have you ever done this?” I shake my head because while I’ve had casual sex it never went further.
“I’d say this is the first date I’ve been on that wasn’t with her in almost a decade.”
