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The tenderness in his voice nearly breaks me. I want to curl up in his arms and never leave, to forget about everything waiting for us outside this moment.
But I can't.
We can't.
My phone cries out from my purse. I know what it is. Know who it is. It’s the hardest thing in the world not to cry out in sick agony and turn this loving moment of perfect non-escape into a tragedy.
“Work?” Hunter says.
I nod, seizing on his guess. That he’s the one who says it absolves me of the lie, right?
“I have to go.”
Chapter Forty-Four
Emily
My workday passes in a zombie-state, plodding through each hour, grumbling and mumbling my responses to customer questions, and barely feeling a single spark at all between any of the neurons in my brain. The only thing that occupies my thoughts is the nightmare-date that grows closer with each passing second.
“See you tomorrow, Emily,” Maggie says as she makes a few last notes on a customer file and then shuts down her computer. “Call me if you have any last-minute questions on your paper. Your deadline’s got to be close, right? Is it tomorrow?”
“Day after,” I mumble. Silence descends between us. Then I realize I’m being a distracted asshole to a friend and add, “Thank you, but I think I have everything. I’m just a little distracted.”
“The case? I know it’s hard, but you have to focus. You are so close, and Keith says our odds are decent. I trust him, so please, just relax, focus, and do what you need to do while we take care of the rest.”
“I’ll try. Have a good night, Maggie.”
She gives me a pitying smile as she leaves. If only she knew why I really felt so terrible at this moment. But I’ll never tell her, or Keith, or anyone about what I’m about to do to make sure this case goes away. In fact, I’m going to do everything I can to forget about it.
After a few scrawled notes and a few quick replies to some emails, I close up and head to my car.
The next thing I know, I’m pulling into the parking lot of some dive bar. I don’t remember how I got here, and figure that might be for the best. If I can have one gap in my memory already, maybe I’ll be able to induce another later.
The car door closes with a slam behind me and I force myself to walk with my head high into the dirty bar, my eyes scanning the crowd of construction workers, truckers, and men with generally dusty appearances — and not normal dust, but gritty, thick, dark dust, like they were rescued from a coal mine, except there are no coal mines anywhere near here — until they settle on Jay. He’s sitting at a table in the corner, and there are two empty beer glasses in front of him, and a third that’s half-empty.
Great, he’s already well on his way to getting drunk and belligerent.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what's to come, and make my way over to Jay's table. He looks up as I approach, his eyes narrowing as they focus on me.
"Well, well, well," he drawls, a smirk twisting his lips. "Look who decided to show. I was starting to think you might stand me up."
I force a smile that feels more like a grimace. "Sorry I'm late. Work ran long."
“Whatever. I've been keeping myself entertained." He gestures to the empty glasses, then signals the waitress. "What'll you have? It’s on me."
After a breath and a moment where I think about Hunter in order to feel stronger, I say, “Whiskey on the rocks, please. With whatever whiskey is your most expensive.”
Jay winces. Good.
“Beer. Whichever is your cheapest, because I’m not a stuck-up bitch,” he says.
“I will leave right now,” I say.
“Feel free. Then my buddy, Officer Abrams, will make sure the DA continues with the assaulting a police officer charges against you and you can spend the next few years of your life in jail, bitch.”
My whiskey arrives and I take a long drink, finishing half the glass. “Use that word again and see what happens.”
Jay holds up his hands, palms out. “Fine. I’m sorry. Look, I got a little upset thinking you weren’t going to show up, so I’ve already had a few drinks. I apologize for what I said.”
