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“Every fucking second.”
The server returns with two glasses of water and I grab both and drink them so fast there’s a risk I might drown.
Hunter watches me with those piercing blue eyes. There’s a storm of emotions hidden behind them.
I place the empty glasses down and let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Thank you,” I say. “For coming for me. For finding me. For being exactly what I needed.”
He leans forward, his elbows at rest on the table, fingers laced together. “Emily, what happened?”
I shake my head slightly and try to push the memories back, but they refuse to be silenced.
“They grabbed me after I left my apartment. I had just walked and walked and walked for so long, but then I looked up, and Jay was there. He must’ve been following me the whole time. Stalking me, like some kind of hunter.” I shudder. The way he looked and acted was so deliberately cruel, as if he had planned for so long to take me, to break me, to dehumanize me. “Then it was like a bad dream. One that just wouldn’t end and seemed to get worse with each passing second.”
Hunter’s jaw tightens, and his knuckles whiten as he grips his hands tighter. “Did they hurt you?”
His question hangs in the air, and for a moment, I’m taken back to that room — the cold walls closing in on me, the echo of footsteps in the hallway. But Hunter’s presence pulls me back to the moment.
“No,” I murmur. “Not physically. But they... they broke something inside me.”
He reaches across the table and sets his hand upon it, palm up in an offering, but not one that I have to take. As much as I want to hold him in that moment, thinking about Jay and everything he put me through stirs memories of his sick degradations crawling across my skin. I keep my hand to myself.
“We’ll fix it,” he says. “Together.”
“Together?” I say. “I don’t even know if I want that. So much of me hurts, Hunter. Inside and out, I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same. And after what happened between us… would it really be right?”
“I made mistakes,” Hunter says. I see several heads turn, people clearly eavesdropping, and I see a flicker in Hunter’s eyes, too, that says he clearly sees them. Without shame or hesitation, he continues. “A lot of mistakes. There were things I hid from you, there were lies, there was so much I should’ve done differently. Despite all that, there has always been something that is true: I love you. I love you, Emily. I want to be there for you, to help you put your life back together the way you helped me put one together here in Ironwood Falls. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I’d still be lost. Charlie would still be wearing duct taped diapers and being exposed to god knows what else.”
A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. “I still can’t believe you used duct tape.”
“It made perfect sense at the time. Duct tape is a tool. It’s meant for many things.”
“Not diapers. Not babies.”
Hunter chuckles. It’s a sound that makes my chest ache with longing and hope. In the solitary moment of silence between his laughter and his words, I shut my eyes and let his loving laugh fill me. My heart shivers in a good way.
“Okay, you got me there,” he admits. “But the point is, you’re the one who showed me that life could be different. Better. And now, it’s my turn to show you.”
The server returns with plates piled high with food — golden waffles, crispy bacon, scrambled eggs, and an array of cupcakes in assorted colors and flavors. The sight and smell are almost overwhelming, but my stomach rumbles as loud as Hunter’s motorcycle and I realize how hungry I am. The fork and knife both shake in my hands as I hunch over my plate and devour it like a wild animal.
We eat in silence for a while. The only sounds are clinking cutlery and quiet sighs of satisfaction as we savor each bite. After a while, Hunter speaks. “Emily, I know it’s going to take time for you to trust me again. But I’m willing to wait. Whatever it takes.”
I look at him, really look at him. There’s a vulnerability in his eyes I’ve never seen before, a rawness that tells me he’s speaking the truth. And despite everything — the chaos, the fear, the broken pieces — there’s a large part of me that wants to believe him.
I want to cling to hope.
“That’s what scares me,” I breathe.
“What does?”
“How much I still care. How much I want to trust you again.” I take a sip of coffee, choosing my words as carefully as any medicine. “We both lied to each other, Hunter. I made mistakes, too. Terrible mistakes. And they’ve cost me so much. You know I missed my deadline, right? My paper, my degree, my whole academic career — it’s in shambles. What if getting together is just another mistake? It might feel good in the moment, but what if I get hurt again? I don’t know if I can take it.”
He reaches across the table and takes my hand in his. His touch is warm, steadying.
“We’ll take it one day at a time,” he promises. “No more lies, no more secrets.”
I sigh and shake my head, return my focus to satisfying my ravenous appetite.
