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His hand strokes my hair, and I flinch away from his touch. Even in my despair, my body recoils from him. He grabs a fistful of my hair, yanking my head back so I'm forced to look at him.
His eyes gleam with a mixture of triumph and something darker, more primal, more evil. "I’m going to give you a minute alone to cry this bitchiness out. But then, you and me, we've got so much to catch up on.”
Chapter Fifty-Three
Hunter
Time passes with radio silence from Emily, and now it’s the day of the patching in party. I text her once to wish her well on her paper and receive no response, and I realize she must be head down in her work. I don’t blame her for not responding. In fact, thinking about how hard she works makes me smile a little. Today’s the day she’s due to turn her paper in, and one thing I appreciate about her the most — her dedication — means the paper she’s going to send in to her professor is going to be at least as good as the original. She is someone special.
If only she hadn’t lied and put Charlie in danger.
I get to the clubhouse early, hand Charlie over to Yolanda, who has kindly offered to watch him the entire day, and then plant myself at the bar. There’s a painful void inside me I intend to fill with alcohol.
A beer and a shot of whiskey land on the table before I even have a chance to order, and I look up to see Molly wink at me.
“You look like you need this.”
“I’ll take the same medicine, too,” come’s Diesel’s voice to my left. As I look up, I see him sit down on the stool. He winces as he settles in. “Told the doctor’s I won’t take any of that morphine shit. Seen too many people go from injured to addicted to take anything stronger than aspirin or a shot of whiskey.”
Molly turns to pour for Diesel while I give my friend a careful pat on the back.
“Surprised they let you out so soon,” I say.
“Checked myself out as soon as they got my wound patched and the bleeding shot. Anything after that is just paying way too much to have my ass sit in an uncomfortable bed while being spoonfed Jell-O. Might’ve considered it if Esteban, the fifty-five-year-old nurse who gave me my sponge bath, had said ‘yes’ to my proposal, but I thought it best to move on.”
“Why’d you leave a sweet situation like that?” I say.
“Because Esteban, despite his wonderful bedside manner and miraculous ability to probe and clean places on me I didn’t even know existed, was happily married and unwilling to extend his probing abilities beyond his sponge-work.” Diesel then reaches behind the bar, grabs himself a bottle, and pours himself and me a shot. Before I pick up my glass, I look at Molly, and when she nods, I lift it. Diesel continues, “To the ones who got away.”
That makes me flinch. “To the ones who got away.”
I down it. My phone buzzes at that moment. It’s a text from Sophie. Have you seen Emily lately? I delete it and pour myself another shot.
“Wouldn’t figure you to be so serious about Esteban. He ain’t your usual type,” I say.
“Never felt the urge to go that way before, but when he was getting into my nooks and crannies, I felt something, man. It was like a twinge, but in my soul.”
"A twinge in your soul, huh?" I chuckle, shaking my head. "Sounds like you might've found your soulmate there, Diesel."
"Don't mock my pain, brother," Diesel says, his face deadpan but his eyes twinkling with mirth. "I might never recover from this heartbreak."
We both laugh, and for a moment, I forget about the heaviness in my chest. But it's only temporary. As soon as the laughter dies down, I feel that familiar ache creeping back in.
Diesel must notice the change in my demeanor, because he leans in closer, his voice lowering. "How you holding up, man? For real?"
I take a long pull from my beer before answering. "I'm fine."
"Bullshit," Diesel says, not unkindly. "You look like hammered shit, and I'm the one who just got out of the hospital."
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "It's complicated."
"Ain't it always?" Diesel nods. "You wanna talk about it?"
For a moment, I consider brushing him off. But then I remember that this is Diesel, my brother in all but blood. If there's anyone I can trust with this, it's him.
"It's Emily," I admit finally. "I can't stop thinking about her, even though I know I should. How good she was with Charlie, how good she made me feel. Fuck, I know I’ll be damn lucky if I ever find anyone even close to her. But after what she did, the danger she put Charlie in, the lies… I had to end it."
Diesel nods, understanding. “She was your Esteban. She made you tingle in ways you’ll never forget, but it wasn’t meant to be.”
