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I flip him off. “It was in self-defense.”
Alexandra laughs as we hurry toward the gate. “Got ya.”
I make a mental note to warn Seraphina and Kyle that they’ll want to inform the real Lars ‘Bison’ Buckowski that he now has a reputation as a guy who likes to blast strangers in the face.
“You’re the worst.”
“Stop whining. We need to focus on how we’re getting out of here.”
I pat the gun that I’ve got stuffed into my waistband and concealed under my shirt so I don’t attract any more attention from the partygoers; it’s one thing to come in a guy’s eye and then punch him out, it’s another thing entirely to wave a gun around.
“We’ll slip out the gate and I’ll use this to ensure that the guys out front stay silent and compliant.”
“You know, if they give you any trouble, I have an idea about something you could do…”
“Don’t say it.”
“You could —”
“Don’t. I fucking swear, you better not say it, or so help me, I will…”
“You’ll come in my eye?”
“Fuck you.”
We reach the gate. I draw the gun and step through quietly, sneaking up behind the first guard and pressing the barrel to the back of his neck.
“Don’t move and don’t make a sound.”
“Seriously, don’t move, or my friend here will shoot you in ways that you could not possibly understand,” Alexandra adds, cackling quietly to herself. “He shoots quickly, and boy, it will get messy.”
Shoots quickly? What the hell?
“How much longer are you going to keep bringing that up? Fuck. I put cum in some guy’s eye, and it’s all you fucking talk about. It saved your fucking life, didn’t it?”
The guard in front of me with my gun to the back of his head inclines his head just slightly.
“Respectfully, man, I’ll cooperate. Just don’t come in my face or whatever.”
Suppressing a groan of frustration, I nod curtly and gesture with the gun for him to walk. "Alright then, move it. And keep quiet. That goes for all three of you." I direct a look at both the other guard and Alexandra, who I know will immediately disregard everything I’ve just said, because that’s the terrible person she is.
The guards both comply, walking in front of me while I keep the gun on them. Alexandra trails behind us, an occasional snicker betraying her amusement at my expense. We slip through the shadows cast by the opulent mansion's exterior lighting, inching our way toward where our ride is parked.
After what feels like an eternity, the sleek outline of our getaway car comes into view, parked down the street under a canopy of overhanging trees. I keep the guards moving until we're a few feet away, then I gesture toward the ground.
"You're both going to lie down and interlock your hands behind your head. My companion, the lovely Destiny, is going to pat you down and remove your weapons, your phones, and your wallets. They’ll be waiting for you in the bushes about half a mile down the road."
While she searches them — snatching three knives, two pistols, a taser, two cellphones, two wallets, and a money clip in the shape of a marijuana leaf with the words ‘Always Jammin’ emblazoned on it in sparkly letters — Alexandra speaks to the two men.
“Now, you’ll want to be especially cautious and quiet right now, because the way you’re laying right now is exactly how he positioned the other guy right before he…” She stops, shakes her head, and lets out a sigh. “He says it’s all part of his process. This thing he likes to do where he breaks people down before he, well, he calls it delivering his ‘blessing.’”
“You really shouldn’t do this to Bison, you know,” I say. “You’re going to ruin his reputation.”
“He even likes to talk about himself in the third person. What kind of deviant does that?”
I decide it's time to shut this down before it gets out of hand.
"Alright, Destiny," I use her fake name as a reminder that we're on a job and not in the playground, "finish up and let's roll out. It’s getting late, and you’ve got that court date tomorrow to resolve those charges from the time you got frisky at the zoo." I pause for a second before adding. “You know, with the animals?”
