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“Same guy.” Adam’s smile widened. “And I tried, but I couldn’t stand up, much less walk it off. When the EMTs came, I lost my jersey. And when I got kicked off the football team, there went being hot shit. There went everybody. The girls, the friends, all of it. The only one who stuck around was Ryan. I owe everything to him.” Adam chuckled, turning back to face the rest of the crowd. “We worked all semester. My coach didn’t think I could do it, but I got back on the team the next fall.”
We were quiet for a moment, the cool bar counter was a contrast to the thoughts racing in my head. There were new layers to Adam every day. He wasn’t like flipping a coin, he was like looking into a kaleidoscope. All those different angles. I was too juiced and too dizzy to figure it out. I couldn’t even imagine it.
Sophomore Adam in high school meant—what? Sixteen years old? Sitting on the grass, with a busted leg and a high school coach screaming at him to get back on his feet.
I was going to be sick.
“Everything can end so fast.” Adam folded his arms over his chest. The smile was gone and in its place was stone. “That’s why none of it matters. Just enjoy it while it lasts.”
In all of those mixtures of emotions, there was something else I hadn’t expected. Relief? It was weird, but Adam had gone through something like I had. One wrong thing and everybody left. He understood how everything can tumble on its axis and fall apart so fast.
Adam shifted to face the bar, and I touched his shoulder. He glanced down, surprised, and I wet my lips, trying to formulate exactly what I wanted to say. “Adam. I—I—”
“What?”
“I—I’m so sorry.” I could feel my bottom lip tremble.
“Ah, ice princess, you’re babying me,” he teased.
“No, I’m being serious,” I said, all my words rushing together. “I’m sorry and—”
“I don’t want your pity. This is why I don’t tell anybody.” He laughed—actually with humor—and mussed up my hair. “I just want you to know, I get it. It’s fucked. But I understand more than you know.”
I ducked away from his hand as best as I could, but that didn’t mean much. My reflexes weren’t that great, especially after two glasses of Shower Sex, and I found myself gazing more at him.
Gazing at this man who emotionally and mentally flipped me upside down again. I studied the little indents on his face, the little scars, and his dark eyes, speckled with gold, and his signature smirk. And there was his hand too, returning to my hair.
I reached for it and caught his wrist instead. His fingers drew through my hair, whisking it away from my neck, sending a shiver down my spine
Heat pooled below my stomach, and my breathing slowed. This was it - this was the college experience. It was reckless and adventurous and a little heartbreaking, and it tasted like the sweet wash of a good drink and a man’s fingers in my hair.
His eyes flickered beyond mine for a moment. He frowned, his breath catching in his throat.
“What is it?” I asked and tried to look back.
Adam grabbed my shoulder and his fingers dug in. “Don’t.”
“What?”
His breathing came out faster. “Piper, don’t do it.”
“What is it?”
“Let’s just go.” He stared into my eyes, hard, pleading. “Please, Piper.”
I couldn’t remember the last time Adam had asked me to do anything and sounded so sincere about it. There was a note of panic in his voice too. What in the world would make Adam panic? He slammed his own patella back into place. I couldn’t imagine what could possibly make his eyes widen like that.
Holding his hand, I shifted to get a look at whatever it was. Half of me expected a joke.
None of me expected to see Xavier, kissing a girl on his lap in a red booth.
33
Adam
Hard Conversations
The party was over for the night, and it officially ended when Piper ran out of the bar, wrapped her hands around the garbage can outside, and threw up hard enough to make the bouncer gag. I’d been through frat parties with Kassie, Zariah, and June. I knew the drill.
