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Back on campus, even getting ready for the big presentation without Adam felt wrong.
My phone buzzed in my back pocket but it was just the calendar reminder for the presentation, as if I didn’t need another reason to be anxious. I smoothed over the papers in my hand and stepped out to the lobby of the dorm, hurrying off to the student center.
It was the only reason I came back to MU. Because I wanted out of the athletics dorm for good.
There was another hour and a half until my presentation but they promised that the room would be available early. I could get a chance to go over my notecards and set up my PowerPoint.
Adam would have been quizzing me on my notecards.
With a sigh, I headed to the room. Three-fourteen. This was it. This was where the residential leaders would be gathering to listen to the presentations of the semester and I could get my shot at Roman Hall, away from emotionally unavailable football players forever.
"I can do this," I whispered under my breath. "I can definitely do this."
I pushed open the double doors and the breath left my body.
"Oh…I can’t do this."
When they said it was going to be a series of presentations, I’d been picturing a meeting room like the ones we had for the rodeo. I wasn’t thinking about a huge stage with lines and lines of chairs sitting in front of it. The place was huge.
I walked through the doors and touched the back of one of the chairs.
Adam was supposed to be here with me.
I sucked in a breath. If I started thinking about Adam and spiraling about Adam, I wouldn’t be prepared for the presentation. I had to stop thinking about the linebacker who broke my heart.
"Hey, Piper." June’s voice was soft behind me and she walked through the doors. "Ugh. Who’s ready for tonight? Not me."
"You’re going to do great, June."
"It’s the same speech I give every year, I’m just over the whole thing." June shrugged, making her way towards the stage. "You know—we have to band together as students, Romans together, Gladiators together if it’s the hockey team. Some joke about how Marrs is named after a dude, not the god. It’s the same thing every year."
I smiled. "Well, you’re going to do great anyway."
"No, you’re going to do great." She stepped up to the stage and left an extra coffee for me behind. In a straight line, she went back to the table at the back. "I mean, you’re the one that has to go over percentages and everything." She started up the computer but glanced over it. "Are you okay?"
How do I answer?
"Um…I’m here," I answered honestly.
Was I ready? I didn’t know. The all-consuming stage fright was still there, bubbling under the surface, but I used that to my advantage. I practiced day and night with my notecards and I watched all the helpful videos on how to let the crowd disappear and focus on a singular objective.
This wasn’t going to be like the RA conference. Not at all.
I can do this.
"I still can’t believe you pepper sprayed Thomas." June snickered and typed up on the keyboard.
My fingers curled around the warm cup of coffee. Just a regular latte from Gianna’s, not my regular, but I was grateful for it. Leaning against the stage, I shuffled out my notecards.
YOU GOT THIS
I stared down at the margins. Ninety percent of the notecard was written in my tiny scrawl but at the margins was Adam’s scribble, tight and lean. I would’ve recognized it anywhere. And they were all notes to me, all saying that I’d rock the performance.
"Oh my god…" I whispered, flying through the notecards.
It hurt so much I couldn’t breathe.
My lower lip wobbled. "Is—is there a bathroom here?"
