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I frowned, glancing back at her. “What do you mean?”
“Well…love is easy, Piper.”
“Mom…no offense but just because it’s all peaches and cream with you and dad, doesn’t make me feel better.” I squeezed the pillow. “So—what—I’m defective because all of this is happening? I’m not enough for someone?”
“Do you know what’s easy?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“Piper, loving you is easy.”
I stared at my mom for a long moment before I turned away, tears brimming on my eyelashes again.
My mom, my assertive, dominant mother who loved nothing more than whipping up her students for a grueling research trip out in the empty Oklahoma landscape, used the softest voice I’d ever heard from her.
“Loving you is so easy. I’m not exactly the maternal type and do you know how scared I was when I became pregnant? Frightened to death. But having you, having the pleasure of having you in my life, has been the greatest joy I’ve known. You are by far my greatest achievement.”
I hurried to wipe away more tears.
“You’re kind, much kinder than we are,” my mom said. “You’re incredibly intelligent. You’re beautiful. You see the beauty in the world that I never bothered to look at. And every day I think of how grateful I am that you are part of my life. It is easy to love you, Piper. Easier than breathing.”
I cleared my throat. “And you…feel the same way about dad?”
“Oh, he can drive me to drink. Did you know he deleted half of my third thesis?”
A small smile tugged up on my lips at the story I’d heard a thousand times. “I know.”
“But love is…every day knowing you’ll fight for someone,” my mom said thoughtfully. “Did I want to take a hammer to his laptop? Of course. But it is still easy to love him. And it’s easy to make that choice to fight for him, every day. It’s even easier to make that choice for you.”
“Why can’t he love me like that?” I whispered.
“If he can’t, that’s not your responsibility, Piper.” Reaching over, she gathered me in her arms and held me there for a long moment. “You are more than enough.”
The door pushed open a few inches. My dad raised his eyebrows. “I have cookie dough.”
“I think I just need some time…” I whispered, hugging my mom back.
She kissed my forehead. “Of course, Piper.”
“Does that mean no cookie dough?” my dad pressed.
“No.” I shook my head, sniffling again. “I’ll take some cookie dough.”
101
Adam
What Do You Think?
Piper’s room was empty.
I was empty.
On the track indoors, I jogged around another loop without music, like a psychopath. The only headphones I had were the ones that Piper got me. I couldn’t wear those anymore. And I couldn’t drop them off either. Piper was gone and if I knew anything about Piper, she was at her parent’s place. In a whole other state. Far away from me.
She might as well have been on the moon.
Fuck.
