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All three of them knew I was puppy-love-obsessed with Piper. I couldn’t think of anything more excruciating. Did everybody know I’d lay down on a puddle for Piper? Fuck me.
Piper could literally lose her job. And I couldn’t let that happen.
Every waking decision I made in the last few years had been one impulsive trip after another. Telling Piper I loved her had to be done right. We just had sex, and Piper didn’t even want to stay in bed long enough to answer a text message. If she found out how I felt about her right now? Everything could go to shit.
I worshipped the ground she walked on. But I wasn’t stupid enough to think she saw me that way. Even if I was stupid enough to hope that with time, she could like me half as much as I loved her.
My voice was strained. "I wore this for the optics."
"Sure, you did," Zariah giggled.
Kassie raised an eyebrow. "Gold star."
"That’s the commitment we’re looking for. Nice job, Adam," Ryan said and kissed Kassie’s hair.
My team captain, the only one who hadn’t caught on.
“Yeah. For the optics,” I echoed, with a purposeful look at all three of them. “And I don’t think the optics need to know how much I did this for them. And you’re kind of close with the optics and I don’t think the optics need to know. Strictly need-to-know, classified shit. Right?”
All three of them understood but Ryan frowned.
“I don’t think you’re saying what you mean to, Adam,” Ryan said. “I don’t think you’re using optics right.”
"Oh my god. Gray Sweatpants." Zariah sucked in a breath. "I just figured it out."
King kept his voice low with another knowing look. "You’ve been dedicated to the optics all semester."
"Optics doesn’t know that," I muttered.
"Optics is going to find out," Kassie pressed. "It’s only a matter of time."
"Is optics an acronym?" Ryan asked. "Is this one of those technology acronym things? I hate those."
“If optics finds out right now, I’m—” My throat tightened, and I cleared it. “I’m kind of thinking optics will hit the road. And I can’t have that happen.” I slipped off my hat and ran my hand through my hair, glancing back at Piper at the petting zoo, talking with a couple of kids. “I haven’t been in this position before. You have to cut me some slack here. I need time. Please.”
Kassie and Zariah shared a look but King sighed.
“Well, I think you’re doing great with the optics,” Ryan assured me.
"This isn’t the right call, Adam," King muttered.
Kassie reached up and patted the side of Ryan’s cheek. "Sometimes…people don’t need to know things yet. Ryan doesn’t know anything about his birthday party and honestly it’s better. Means things go smoothly."
"I’m not having a birthday party," Ryan retorted.
"Yes, you are."
"No, I’m not."
“This is why I don’t tell you things.”
While the two of them argued with each other about the impending birthday party and Zariah patted my arm, heading off to what she signed up for, a wave of relief hit me. My friends wouldn’t tell Piper. They had my back. But that relief was short lived as Coach Lawson told us to walk up the steps and I thought about the implications of the new situation I found myself in.
If all three of them could already see it, how long until somebody else did too?
How long until Piper figures it out?
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