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That’s not true.
Adam was a lot of things, easy going, brash, down for anything, but he wasn’t infallible. I hit him where it hurt. I could still see the way his face closed up as his voice tightened. It’d been a punch to the gut. The idea that nothing could hurt him was ridiculous.
“He’s a person,” I snapped. “With feelings!”
Once again, silence. They stared at me, frozen in place. I had to reign in the other comments that threatened to blurt out of me. Adam wasn’t a robot or one of those frat boys who didn’t care if they hit a stop sign. He wasn’t one-dimensional, and I hated hearing how everyone wanted to put him into these boxes all the time. But they knew that. Of course they did. They were just kidding around.
They were Adam’s friends too. He wasn’t just mine.
I sighed. “I’m sorry.”
Zariah slowly started painting the barn again. “Girl, I was just joking.”
“I know.” I did know. But I still couldn’t help the anger that sliced through me at the thought of anyone disregarding Adam. With another sigh, I turned back around and headed to the line of paint cans to pick up the new color.
Zariah and June started talking about the rodeo in an obvious attempt to cover up where I boiled over, as footsteps followed after me. Kassie broke from the ranks and reached for another paint can.
“What happened?” she whispered.
“I said something I shouldn’t have, and it hurt him,” I explained, a strain in my voice.
“Piper, he was really disappointed when you didn’t come to dinner.”
It felt like icy cold fingers closed around my throat and I shifted back, guilt twisting inside of me. “He was?”
“Oh, yeah. Looked like a lost puppy the whole night.”
No, no, no.
“I need to apologize.” I swallowed. “Um…we…talked about his…dad.”
Kassie didn’t say anything, but I could see the new lines on her face. She nodded slowly. “Got it.”
No suggestions, no nothing. Kassie knew how big of a deal it was. This couldn’t be worse. I stepped back away with two paint cans in my hands and walked back to the barn, taking the chance to breathe in deeply and attempt to sort out my thoughts. I needed to figure out what to say to him.
What do I say?
“What are you doing again at the rodeo again?” Zariah asked me, obviously trying to bring me back into the conversation.
“Um…petting zoo,” I remembered, stepping onto the ladder. “And then…I think I’m working the blackjack tables.”
June snorted. “You’ll be a big hit. The donors love blondes and gambling.”
“I thought they just love football for the thrill of the game?” Kassie asked in mock-surprise and the girls snickered. I even cracked a smile.
“Do you know what I want?” Zariah threw the question behind her shoulder. “I want a cowboy. Rough and tough cowboy. The cow print, the rolled-brim hat, the whole enchilada. I’m swarming the bull riders and finding one to take home. I am sick and tired of hanging out with hockey players.”
“I bet anything you’ll end up with a hockey player,” Kassie teased.
“Fuck you.”
A big grin lifted on Kassie’s lips. “You want to bet on it?”
“Fuck. You.” Zariah snorted. “Don’t put that in the universe, I have enough problems as is.”
“I could do without cowboys,” I admitted. “I had enough of the hype in Oklahoma.”
Kassie gave me a curious look. “But what about tonight?”
