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“She’s my carbon copy.” My mom squeezed me into a hug. “I cloned her.”
“The Fontaines! I’m Zariah.” Zariah shook their hands but turned back to me quickly, absolutely exhausted. “Girl, I’m on an overnight, and the elevator’s shot on the east side here. The RAs are trapped—they have me doing this and my own dorm. Could you do me a huge, huge, huge favor and help whoever’s trapped in the hall of shame?”
I perked up. It would be a quick errand and I could bring my parents along, show them the ropes, and we could leave out that exit instead. Perfect. I glanced at them. “You guys don’t mind, right?”
“What’s the hall of shame?” My mother lifted one of her perfect eyebrows.
I explained as quickly as I could and showed them to the desk assistant station, placing my phone and wallet up on the desk. With a couple of buttons, I brought out the single key needed and walked over to prop open the door.
The hall of shame was a temporary name for a temporary problem. It looked like a safe exit from the dorm. But once you stepped inside, sometimes the door locked behind you, and the only way out was through the emergency exit, sure to set off the alarms in the building. Everybody called it the hall of shame as a joke.
One-night stands inevitably ended up there if they didn’t want to be seen. We had to rescue them pretty often, but it also meant I could use the emergency key to turn off the alarms and usher my parents out.
“Piper Fontaine!” My mom sucked in a breath. “Who is Potential Sperm Donor?”
I glanced up with a frown. “What?”
“Potential Sperm Donor?” my mom repeated. “Who is this young man?”
“Mom, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
My dad grimaced. “I…suppose you’re an adult…”
My eyes narrowed when I saw they were both peeking at my phone. Oh my god. I hurried over to them and swiped my phone, yanking it up to check the message.
potential sperm donor: do you want anything for the 24 hour shift
Adam!
My mouth fell open, and a blush seared my skin. I knew exactly who swiped my phone and changed the name of his contact. And just when I changed it back. Ugh, when did he do it? I struggled with a response for a moment, glancing back and forth between my parents and the screen.
My mom looked at me. “You didn’t mention anything about intrauterine insemination—”
“Oh my god, mom.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “It’s a joke name! He’s not my actual sperm donor! Not that I have a sperm donor! Oh my god…”
The desk assistant lowered his magazine, peering at us over it.
“You put his name as Potential Sperm Donor?” My dad frowned.
“No, he did!”
“Let me see if I have this right…” Pushing her glasses up, my mom pursed her lips. “This…young man put his name in your phone as an ejaculation jibe and you don’t believe he means anything about this at all? Piper Elizabeth Fontaine, I work with college students every day. Your budding sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. Your hormones are at a ripe time—”
My dad nodded. “That is correct. A very ripe time.”
I loved my parents and I would always love them, but their deadly serious view of the world wasn’t one that we could embark on in the middle of my work building. People were starting to stare. The desk assistant was practically eating popcorn.
Stumbling away, I hurried to the hall of shame door, ready to get them out of there and for the day to actually begin.
“I’ll be right back, I just have to help this resident!” I shouted at them, right over the two of them, still discussing the various hormones that prompted mammalian animals to breed.
The moment the door closed behind me, I let out a breath of relief and sent a reply.
Piper Fontaine: I can’t BELIEVE you!!!!
Piper Fontaine: My parents saw your name!!!!
I hurried to change it, but Adam sent me a message a second later.
