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“It’s all you ever drank. Mom never kicked the habit of buying it in bulk.”
Another beat of silence. We stare at each other, a steady tension mounting between us like water behind a dam. My fingers ache to hold him, but I push the feeling away. He’s not mine to hold, not anymore.
Milo cracks first. “Aren’t you meant to be at home?”
“My parents said what they needed to.” I clear my throat. “I wanted to see you.”
“Yeah, well, here I am.”
Taking a deep breath, I step closer slowly, giving him enough time to back away. “And—and I wanted to say sorry. For pushing you away and for all the shit I said at the motel.”
“You don’t have to apologize, man.”
“Yes, I do.” We’re so close I have to tilt my head up to look him in the eye. “I’ve been a shitty friend, and you don’t deserve that. I was scared and I overreacted instead of talking about it like an adult.”
Milo crosses his arms even as his expression softens, the furrow in his brow smoothing out. “You’d think I’d be used to it by now. I shot my shot, Cal, and you don’t feel the same way. I get it.”
Ouch. Okay, I deserved that.
“No,” I say firmly. “I wanted to tell you I like you. A lot.”
“But you said—”
“I lied.” Five years of bundled-up emotions piled behind my tongue finally burst, spilling like a waterfall. “I’ve had feelings for you for as long as we’ve been friends. Longer than that, if you count the weird fixation I’ve had since eighth grade.”
Milo rubs a hand over his face, his fingers shaking slightly. “I thought I was an idiot for having a massive crush on you.”
“I’m sorry.” Tentatively, I pull his hand away and replace it with mine, stretching up to cup his jaw. “If it’s any consolation, my sister thinks I’m obsessed with you.”
He eyes me, something dark and intense in his gaze. “And what do you think?”
Fuck, why is this so hard? Sweat prickles at my temples, my stomach clenching with nerves. Finally, I nod.
“Dammit, Cal. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know how to say it. ‘Hey, dude, I’ve thought about you non-stop for the better part of a decade and I feel numb when I’m not glued to your side.’ Tell me that doesn’t freak you out.”
There’s an expression on his face; part fear, part something else that sparks heat in my lower belly. Then he smiles.
“I’ve been trying to make you jealous for the last three years,” he says. “I don’t know what I was thinking. That you’d date me out of spite, maybe. I think we’re as bad as each other.”
Oh. I let the words wash over me, electricity buzzing under my skin.
“How do I know you’re not going to push me away again?” Milo says.
“I thought if we ignored what happened things would go back to normal. It was stupid, not to mention the opposite of what I wanted. But I’m done lying to myself, Milo. I want to be yours.”
He makes a noise low in his throat, and it draws me in like a siren’s call. Like a docking boat to a lighthouse, I follow it, powerless to resist.
“You’re sure about this?” he says.
“As sure as I’ve ever been about anything. We can take it slow. I want to do it right. With you.”
“God, I need you.” He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me flush against his chest.
I brush my nose against his, already lost in the feel of him. “Then have me.”
When our lips connect, it feels like coming home. Milo groans into my mouth, and the sound pools arousal in my gut. A sharp, insistent tongue licks over my gums, dips behind the back of my teeth.
