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“I don't believe that Addy's heart is bad,” I said softly. “Perhaps you all need time apart.”
Latif lifted his head, looking at me with dry red eyes. I had heard rumors that the humans leaked when they cried, but we Nassa were reptilian by nature and Latif's cheeks remained dry. Still, the anguish was clear on his face.
“There must be something I can do.”
“You have done enough!” I said, laughing lightly.
It was hard to pretend that Latif had been anything other than scandalous before mating, but it seemed to be working out for him now and deep inside, I agreed with his ideals.
Part of me would love to be as bold as my friend; to rebel, but I was too timid by nature. I was terrified of stepping out of the lines. What would work for me was if society changed and the lines became broader on their own.
I often felt cooped up and like I had no direction. I wondered why an alpha was supposed to make my life complete. I wondered why we omegas were shielded because alphas were not expected to control themselves.
These were all things that Latif swore would change. I believed him. He was working with the alpha council tirelessly to figure out ways to gradually ease the segregation of our society. I was in awe of him and I was so proud of the abrasive young omega who I had glued myself to ever since we were toddlers. Latif had always felt like a force to be reckoned with and now he was proving it.
But he had been silent after my words for too long.
“It sounds like you think I am in the wrong,” he said slowly.
I shook my head.
“It’s not that. You know I support both you and Blaine.”
“Then what?” he asked carefully, drawing back to look at me.
I shrugged, suddenly hot under his scrutiny. We had never discussed his actions from before.
“Well… I would never dare to make love to an alpha before bonding,” I admitted. “But that is because I am not as adventurous as you.”
“It is my body,” Latif said quietly. “I should be able to do as I please with it.”
“I agree,” I said, whole-heartedly and the tension in Latif's shoulders sagged with relief. “But between that happening—quite openly—then your interference in the auctions?—”
“It's my life. I should be able to be with who I want to be with.”
“I'm not arguing that,” I said. “In fact, I wish I could choose for myself… But if you're willing to stand out and demand a revolution, you have to know that it will come with push-back. No one likes change when they are on top.”
Latif frowned, his gaze sad.
“That is true. In one way I feel like I won. In another, I feel like I've sacrificed some of my peace of mind.”
I nodded.
“Life is always easier when you are living in the home you grew up in and nothing has changed. What you're doing is good. It will make a positive difference.”
Sighing, Latif shook his head, his gaze landing on me with interest.
“You are so wise Alil.”
I shrugged, feeling self-conscious. I'd realized recently that my biggest asset was the fact that I could over-think a topic into its grave. Things that had little-to-no meaning were analyzed until I understood them in a way that made me feel lonely. Like I was the only person who had come to this strange conclusion, or that one. Sometimes I felt like I was the only person like this.
Not that I was smarter than anyone, because I didn't think I was ever the smartest person in a room, but maybe that I felt more.
“Come, let us walk home,” I suggested, because it was already getting dark. Then I remembered that Latif was mated now and he could chaperone me. We didn’t even need to stay on the omega path, but we did out of habit.
“It's still so strange that you are mated now,” I admitted. “I honestly thought you never would be. I imagined you at old age still beating up any alpha who came too close to you.
Latif chuckled.
