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“It would be so much easier to give in to temptations, but that is not what we are allowed to do... You have no idea how difficult it is to want, Addy, when my body doesn't seem to understand that it is not going to have.”
Addy took a trembling breath.
“I remember what it was like when I was going through puberty,” he said.
“Yes, well that never stopped,” I laughed. “And we're not even supposed to touch ourselves.”
My voice dropped low again, but I had no doubt that Addy heard because his breath caught.
“Why do you think we have so many damned activities?” I demanded, suddenly frustrated by it all. “Meditation, exercise, arts, we're supposed to master ourselves but its?—”
“What?” Addy prompted sounding breathless.
“I shouldn't be saying all this,” I said, swallowing. “Just know that, I understand where Latif was coming from. He thought he had an opportunity to experience a side of life he would never otherwise feel.”
A tense silence filled the air, and I greatly regretted this conversation now because saying it all out loud while trapped with an alpha in a small space was giving exactly the reaction that I had been complaining about trying to repress.
My blood rushed lower as my heart pounded.
I was relieved that it was too dark for Addy to see how hard I was getting, but I knew my pheromones must be flooding the small tent because his breathing grew heavy.
And he had pheromones too, I reminded myself. A strong alpha scent that was making me wet just from lying next to him.
I opened my mouth, about to whisper “Goodnight,” but Addy beat me by speaking first.
“Do you get aroused often?”
I swallowed and shut my eyes, biting back a whimper.
This conversation was so very naughty.
But as I said to Addy, no one was here. No one needed to know…
“Not all the time,” I whispered. “But... mostly when I'm around you.”
I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth. I had been fooling myself thinking I could never be as brash as Latif. If only Addy could make love to me without anyone knowing... Goddess help me, I was next to him right now...
“Lili...” he breathed and pushed by pheromones, or foolishness, or even more foolish desires, I reached out, finding his hand where it laid between us.
He let me take it and did not fight when I pulled it closer, leading his hand over my hip.
His breath caught when he realized what I was doing.
Goddess, he would probably hate me for this. He wanted a goodomega. One that wouldn't take an alpha's hand and put it on his hard cock.
But I couldn't stop myself now. Desperation from an entire life of virginity was a driving force unlike any other.
I placed his hand on my length and we both gasped.
Oh Goddess, he was touching me.
“Lili,” he breathed again, sounding strangled.
“I'm sorry!” I gasped, releasing him, but he did not remove his hand. To my shock, he pressed down.
The soft pressure of his warm palm nearly made a mess of me. I gasped and bit back a moan, my fingers digging into the blankets under us.
“Is this...”
