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Georgia’s feet carried her across the floor, her face softening with sympathy. “I wondered where you’d got to.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “May I?”
His eyes met hers but almost seemed to glance through her. He nodded, passing the photo across, then jammed his hands in his pockets.
“They’re beautiful,” she whispered, pressing a finger to the picture of Livvie. “She has your eyes.”
“And her mother’s everything else, thank God.”
Something heavy landed in Georgia’s throat.
“Bianca looks like a friendly person.”
“She was.” His voice was raw. She ached for his pain. “I miss her every day.”
Georgia felt as though she was being stabbed in the heart, and she didn’t know why, only it was almost unbearable.
The little girl in the picture had glossy dark hair and dimpled cheeks—even in this photograph, Georgia could see how spirited she would have been.
“They should be here,” he said, quietly, and the pain in Georgia’s chest flashed with something else. Anger. Defensive anger. Her emotions were rioting and her head ached.
“Instead of me, you mean?” After all, why not call a spade a spade? That was clearly what he’d been implying.
Dante’s eyes slashed hers. “I didn’t say that.”
“But you’ve been thinking it.” Her heart felt tight and painful in her chest. “That’s why you’ve been so quiet. Why you left the table so abruptly?”
He placed the photo down on the dressing table, giving Georgia his full attention. “They were a part of this family, and now everyone’s acting as though they didn’t exist.”
Her stomach twisted. “They’re just being welcoming to the woman who’s carrying your baby. They’re decent, nice people. Being kind to me doesn’t mean they love Bianca and Livvie any less. It doesn’t mean they don’t miss them and wish they were still here. They’re just making the most of the cards they’ve been dealt. Like you are.”
“And like you are?”
She nodded quickly but it was a lie. Somewhere along the way, Georgia had stopped thinking about the doors this pregnancy had closed for her, like her medical degree, and started thinking of it as a pure blessing.
“I’m no good at this,” he growled.
“You don’t have to be good, you just need to be honest. Don’t retreat into yourself. I’m here. You can talk to me.”
“None of this is your problem. It’s something I have to work out.” He offered a tight smile but it was a death knell of sorts to Georgia, because he was pushing her away again. Walling his grief and heart off from her—out of bounds—telling her they weren’t her business.
“It is kind of my problem, though,” she insisted, moving closer, putting a hand to his chest. “This isn’t just about the baby, Dante. There’s something going on between us. More than just sex. Right?”
His eyes widened and the look on his face made her wish she could pull the words back in. But didn’t she have a right to speak about this? To be honest with him, too?
“You can want me, as a woman, because of who I am. It’s okay. You can want me, at the same time as having loved her, as having had a whole life and family before me.”
His jaw clenched.
“I’m saying this, because I think you’re in a sort of purgatory. Where the more you want me, the more you like me and spending time with me, the more you feel as though you’re letting her down, which makes you want to push me away.” She lifted her hand to his tightly held jaw. “And I understand that. It’s a very human response. But you can’t keep doing that. At some point, you have to accept that it’s okay to feel what you do for me, that it doesn’t weaken or devalue what you felt for her. You’re allowed to be happy, and so am I.”
But rather than agreeing with her, his eyes shifted to the picture, to the photograph of the woman he loved and the daughter they’d made, and the life he wished he was living. Georgia knew then that she’d lost. Lost her heart to him, and any chance of being with him because he couldn’t let go of what he’d once had.
“I think we should go,” she murmured, when he didn’t respond.
Dante’s eyes jerked back to hers and she saw the emotions he couldn’t express. She felt for him. She really did. On one level, she wanted to be patient with him, to wait for him to work through his feelings and accept that he could care for Georgia too, but she didn’t know if he’d ever let her into his heart, and that was where she wanted to be. It seemed more likely that it was fully occupied, and always would be, but not by Georgia.
She spun away, moving towards the door. “I’ll just go and thank your mother for being so welcoming. Excuse me.”
Dante stared at the emptiness of his room with a growing sense of frustration. He felt as though he was hemmed in on all sides, suffocating, almost unable to breathe. He dropped his head, eyes focused on the carpeted floor without really seeing it.
