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“That wasn’t my intent.”
“Wasn’t it? You’re not trying to guilt-trip me into agreeing to whatever madness you’re suggesting?”
He felt the justification of that and ground his teeth. “I am trying to get you to agree to what’s best for this child.”
“You think you have to ‘try’ to get me to do what’s best? I am this baby’s mother. I’m hard-wired to want to do the right thing. It’s just that you and I seem to disagree over what the right thing is.”
“So let me explain my perspective,” he said, unable to stop himself from admiring her astuteness.
“Oh, please, do go ahead. I’m all ears.”
He wished that were true. At the moment, he found it hard to get beyond the beauty of her face. Looking back, he’d known her to be beautiful that afternoon, but his frustration with her, his anger at her invasion, had eclipsed his ability to truly appreciate her physical traits. He had noticed without absorbing the evenness of her features, and the sweetness of her full lips, the almost unnaturally large eyes with a striking shade of brown in the centre. He’d noticed her hair colour, but not the way it seemed to shine in the afternoon sun with strands of pure gold, nor the way it was thick and lustrous. But hadn’t he noticed the latter? He remembered curling his fist into that hair, wrapping himself in it, holding her head steady as he’d kissed her. His stomach looped.
When he spoke, his voice was rigid and cold, despite the heated nature of his thoughts. “I believe this will be better—easier—if we live together. I’m not suggesting we need to get married, though it would be my preference, for a number of reasons.” His voice was wooden, and even as he made the pragmatic offer, in his body, he rejected it with every cell. He would only ever have one true wife, and she had died. If he were to marry again, it would be an emotionless, cold arrangement.
“Not bloody likely,” Georgia spat, as though the very idea was outrageous to her. Relief burst through him.
“I agree; it’s not necessary. You can move in here—there’s plenty of space. Once the baby is born, we’ll share child-minding duties, make the relevant decisions together, such as where he or she will go to school.”
“He,” she said, as if by rote. “It’s a boy.”
His eyes flashed with white. Acid flooded his throat and that same sense of relief burst through him. As much as he simply wanted their baby to be healthy, he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to face parenting a daughter again. To look down into another little face and potentially see Livvie’s features. He swallowed hard.
“I see. We will discuss all matters pertaining to our son together.”
“Our son,” she whispered, and now it was Georgia whose veneer of calm control slipped. The reality of this was sinking in. She moved towards the sofa and sunk down into it, resting her face in her palms.
“Keep going,” she said, the words muffled by her hands.
He strode to the windows, looking out. He wanted to reassure her, to tell her this wasn’t her fault, and that it would be okay. But he couldn’t offer the words. He couldn’t forgive her for this. True, the sex part had been his weakness, and forgetting a condom was a stupid, stupid mistake. But none of it would have happened if she hadn’t invaded his sanctuary. A muscle jerked in his jaw.
“We will find a way to work together, for his sake.”
“And you think that has to be here?” She asked, looking around his house, then landing her gaze on him. The sadness he saw there would have made his heart break, if he had anything like a heart left.
“Here, and in Italy, yes.”
“Why?”
“For the simple reason that it’s where I am.”
She made a scoffing noise. “What about where I am?” She pushed.
“What do you do for work, Georgia?”
She floundered.
“Or are you studying?”
She opened her mouth then closed it again and frustration grew inside of him. Why did she keep doing that? Censoring herself, not telling him what he was asking?
“Neither,” she said, face flushed, after a beat, so his curiosity grew.
“And you said your brothers are at college in the States?”
“Yes,” she whispered, closing her eyes with obvious sadness. It was the tiniest response. A moment later, her features had been corralled back into a mask of angry determination, but he saw her feelings flicker in her face and knew just where to push her to achieve his ends.
“And you miss them.”
