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“I’m now a full-grown woman, Thomas. I’m on the marriage market this season. Anyone else could offer for me at any time, and if Cameron approves, I shall be married.”
“There are other considerations,” he said.
Tricia sighed. “There are always considerations, Thomas. There are considerations for me as well. I’m offering myself to you, and I’m not going to force you into marrying me.”
“I shall do what’s right.”
“I shall not marry except for love.”
Even as she said the words, Tricia knew she would have a difficult time rejecting Thomas if he did propose marriage to her after they… Well, they hadn’t done anything yet. She had worshiped him from afar for so long, and if he were forced to be with her, she could certainly make him fall in love with her. Couldn’t she?
Except she was woefully inexperienced and naïve. Reading The Ruby was one thing. And she’d only read a few episodes. She didn’t know what to do with a man’s body. She didn’t know how to please him.
“Damn you.” Thomas grabbed her shoulders, shaking her. “Damn you for making me want you like this. I’m a gentleman, damn it. You’re a lady of the peerage, whether you were born into it or not. Do not make me treat you like a whore.”
Tricia dropped her jaw. Had those words actually come out of Thomas’s mouth? “Does it make me a whore to want the same things a man wants?”
Thomas let go of Tricia and took a step back. “See? Because you were not born into high society, there are things you just don’t know, Tricia. Of course you’re not a whore. And even if we did make love, you would not be a whore.”
“And those unfortunate women who participate in the deed to make a coin, to pay for their necessities.” Tricia cocked her head. “They’re the whores?”
Thomas simply cleared his throat.
Tricia closed the distance between herself and Thomas. “I’m not saying they’re the best society has to offer, but are they not simply trying to make a living, possibly the only way they can?”
Thomas shook her again. “Damn you! You make me question everything. I am the Earl of Ashford, for God’s sake. There are standards I must adhere to. I was born to this, trained for this, groomed for this. Don’t make me question society!”
“I am but a mere young lady,” Tricia said. “How can I possibly make you question anything?”
“Because I’m not like my father, damn it. I don’t think of women as inferior creatures. I adore women. I respect them for more than just their ability to bring forth life. My sisters taught me that.”
“Another reason why I adore both of your sisters,” Tricia said.
“But even my sisters would draw the line at respecting women of the night.”
“Would they?” Tricia asked.
The question was valid in her own mind. Knowing Rose and Lily as she did, she wondered if Thomas knew his sisters as well as he thought he did.
Rose especially had seen how the other half lived. Before Cameron came into his earldom, she had quarantined with their family on the Lybrook Estate when Kat fell ill several years ago. She saw how difficult it was sometimes to make ends meet.
In Tricia’s opinion, no woman wanted to sell her body for money. But for some, there was no other choice.
And what was the difference, anyway, between being a common whore or being a mistress to a man of the peerage? Perhaps the mistress makes more money—a lot more—but does the definition change just because one woman is kept as opposed to laid and then forgotten?
“Don’t make me second-guess my sisters,” Thomas said. “And don’t make me second-guess myself, damn it. I know the ways of society and convention. I was born to them, and I must accept them.”
“Am I asking you not to?”
He finally let go of her shoulders and threaded his long thick fingers through his gorgeous dark locks. “You are driving me mad, Patricia Price.”
Interesting. He used her former last name. The one she was born to, that she held until they became heirs of the Denbigh marquessate and took Grandfather’s surname of Adams. Cameron insisted on hyphenation to honor their father, who hadn’t had the chance to be an Adams.
“Perhaps you shall be the death of me as well, Thomas. Surely you know what it’s like to be a young lady in bloom.” Then she laughed uproariously at the absurdity of her words. Thomas knew nothing at all about being a young lady. He knew only about being a young man—a young man who probably wanted to rut.
“I know only that I’m going insane with desire at the moment. That for the past year—ever since I kissed you next to my father’s gravesite—I’ve been able to think only of you. Even when I was supposed to be in mourning, you invaded my thoughts. Though I tried to rid myself of them, you plagued my dreams.” With every word he brought his face closer to hers. “I waited with bated breath for the day that I could lay eyes on you again. For the day that I could come out of mourning and kiss you again. I knew it was wrong. I know it’s wrong now, but I don’t care, Tricia. You are what I breathe for.”
Tricia’s legs turned to jelly. She leaned into Thomas to prevent herself from falling.
