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She broke the kiss and pushed at his hard, broad shoulders.
“No,” she said. “I can’t allow it. Not here.”
Thomas almost looked startled. “What do you mean—” Then he darted his gaze toward the gravesites. “What was I thinking?”
Patricia’s fingers went absently to her lips. They stung from his kiss in a most precious way.
“That day,” she said, gulping. “That day you kissed me. But it wasn’t me you kissed.”
“I assure you it was very much you whom I kissed,” he said.
“But you were in pain, Thomas. You were mourning. You were grieving the loss of your beloved father. I was happy that I could be there for you, but now…”
“I’m no longer in mourning, Tricia.”
“Are you saying you no longer miss your father?”
“Oh, I miss him. I miss him desperately. But that’s not why I kissed you.”
“Why, then? Why, when you let me go last night?”
“Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“It didn’t look too difficult from where I was standing.” She cast her gaze to the ground. “You told me how much you wanted me, Thomas. How you were going to ruin me and then do the right thing by marrying me.”
“To which you said you would not accept my offer of marriage.”
“Because I want to marry for love, Thomas. However, I did tell you I would go to your bed.”
“Yes, but you didn’t know what you were saying.”
“I’m a woman of nineteen years,” she said. “I’m not a child, and trust me, when you grow up the way I did, by the time you’re twelve or thirteen you’re no longer a child. I knew girls who married at fourteen or fifteen. You do what must be done to survive.”
“You may be right for all I know,” Thomas said. “I grew up so differently than you did.”
Tricia nodded. “You did. Just tell me one thing, Thomas.”
“What’s that?”
She took a step toward him. “Do you wish to marry? Or do you merely feel that it’s your duty?”
Thomas pressed his lips together and scratched his chin. “That’s a difficult question to answer.”
“And everything is just so difficult for you, isn’t it, Thomas? How to answer one little question asked of you by a lady of the peerage?” She chuckled to herself. “Yes, me, the former Patricia Price, now a lady of the peerage. Sometimes I still don’t believe it. Then I feel the constrictions of this awful corset, and I do.”
Thomas laughed. “I’ve always known I would marry, Tricia. I just never thought it would have to be so soon. I didn’t expect my father to…”
Tricia boldly placed her hand on his forearm. “I know.”
“But yes, I always knew I would marry. And I do want to marry. I want children. I love children. I was quite a bit older when Lily and Rose came along, and I enjoyed spending time with them.”
“You’ll be an excellent father,” Tricia said.
“I certainly hope I will be. I shan’t be quite as strict as my own father was. But I will be a good father. I shall instill in my children respect for authority and convention. Though my father tried his best with Lily, and you see how she ended up.”
“Married to a duke? I’d say she ended up just fine.”
“She fought him every step of the way. She never wanted to marry. But I’ve never been of that thought. I’ve always wanted to marry.”
