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“Right here,” I said, pulling his lips to mine.
CHAPTER 11
COLE
During the agonizing time I spent waiting, words ran through my head on repeat as I watched him and waited. All I could think about were all the secrets we’d kept and how they were hurting us now. And when I’d selfishly pushed him away, this had happened.
I took out my phone and opened the notes app where I kept threads of song lyrics when they came to me. It was the only thing I could do to keep myself out of my head, so to speak, but also allowed me to vent the anguish I was feeling. Had we destroyed the innocent, perfect love we’d always had?
Looking at Patrick, I saw the boy I’d grown up with and loved since we were so young. His perfect lips had only kissed mine. Simon had mentioned memory issues could be a problem. What would I do if he woke up and didn’t remember he loved me? Or what we’d meant to each other and all the firsts we’d shared?
Sitting back in the recliner, my fingertips automatically skimmed my lips as the memory of the first time we kissed at sixteen was as vivid to me now as it was then.
The three of us wanted to give camping a try. The idea of living on the land and fending for ourselves turned out to be camping in the wooded area behind my parents’ house. We might have watched one too many survival shows on the Discovery Channel.
We’d hunted for rocks to make a fire ring and watched countless videos on how to build the perfect fire. The three of us agreed that if we could get the fire started, we’d give camping a try.
“I’m gonna go get the other stuff. You guys put up the tent,” Adam announced as he ran back toward the house.
I looked at Patrick. “We got this.”
He smiled, but his eyes lingered on my face like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “Of course we do.”
I’d thought about kissing him so many times, and the way he’d always looked at me made me think he wanted to kiss me, too. So I decided when the time was right, I’d do it.
And that felt like the right time.
My pulse pounded in my chest as we spread the heavy tarp on the ground, then unfolded the tent on top of it. It didn’t take long to get it together and staked down.
“This thing is bigger than I thought,” I said, looking it over.
Patrick smiled. “Let’s check it out,” he said, crawling inside.
I followed and looked around the secluded little bubble of space we both occupied. Patrick looked back over his shoulder and found me staring at him. He turned, neither of us saying anything.
“Patrick,” I whispered, moving forward on my knees. “I’ve got these feelings inside me when I look at you.”
The look in his eyes told me he knew what I was talking about. “Me too, Cole,” he whispered back, never taking his eyes off mine.
Like two magnets being drawn together, I held up my hand, and he placed his palm on mine. Lacing our fingers together for the first time, I studied them as my excitement grew. I knew we were meant to be. And when I turned back to him, he lowered his lips to mine.
The fireworks on the Fourth of July had nothing on that moment of clarity for us. I wrapped my arms around him as he pulled me closer. We made out like mad until we heard Adam singing loudly through the woods.
Patrick pulled back and looked at me. “Was that okay?”
I smiled at him. “It was perfect.”
Everything was fine for a long time. We snuck in kisses when no one was around, but never really talked about it. I figured it was just about being in high school. I liked girls fine, but there was always something about Patrick that I couldn’t get enough of. We’d both taken dates to homecoming, but as soon as we dropped them off, we were all over each other.
I really thought we’d just come out in college, but it didn’t happen for some reason. The time never seemed right until we came to Portland. But that hadn’t happened either.
It was almost noon, six hours after surgery, when Patrick started to wake up.
I’d pulled the chair as close to him as possible and put my head down on his bed. I tucked my arm under it as I tried to nap. I’d always been a light sleeper, but when exhaustion took over, I had to rest.
I was almost asleep when I heard a very familiar grunt. The one he made when he was sore as hell after a particularly physically demanding game.
I popped up to see him blinking slowly at the ceiling.
