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“It’s one thing to pretend that this is what we are, but it’s another for you to pull me into hallways and start kissing me like that.”
“But you like me kissing you like that.”
“Yes, and that’s the problem!”
I’ve never been so confused in my life.
“If we both like it, I don’t see what the problem is.”
Fresh tears roll down her cheeks as she wipes them away with the back of her hand. Her chest is heaving in her low cut black tank top, drawing my eyes lower.
“Stop it! You can’t even take this seriously!”
“I don’t know what you want me to do, Dakota.” I bring my eyes back up to hers and immediately regret everything that has happened. She’s falling apart and I don’t know what to do. For the first time in my life, I feel completely helpless.
She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. “What are you doing, Chance? Why did you bring me out here?”
“I was kissing you.”
“But why?” She drops her hand and opens her eyes. “There’s no one here to see it.”
“I didn’t want anyone to see that, Dakota. That was for us.”
She remains silent, her chest heaving just as it was after we broke apart. “There is no ‘us,’ Chance. You’ve made that perfectly clear.”
“But what if I was wrong?” My heart pounds against my chest and my stomach turns as I take a cautious step toward her. I’m rewarded with her staying still, so at least—for now—she’s not pushing me away. “I’ve been thinking. A lot.”
She opens her mouth to say something, but I don’t let her.
“What if this isn’t fake, Dakota? I know I’m an asshole and I don’t deserve you, but what if…” My voice cracks as I take another step, daring to lift my hand and brush her cheek. “What if we made this real? Obviously not being engaged, that’s a little too much, but maybe date? Let me take you out?”
She looks down at her hand, admiring the ring. “I mean, it is really pretty.”
“It was my mother’s.”
“Chance, I can’t take this.”
She moves to take the ring off, but I stop her, placing my hand on hers. “Don’t. I want you to wear it. I can’t promise that I’ll ever be the marrying kind, Dakota, but I’d like to give whatever this is between us a shot.”
She looks down at our joined hands but stops trying to take the ring off. “Why did you use this ring?”
I sigh, not sure how I’m going to answer this. “After my dad died, she took it off and told me that one day she wanted me to give it to the woman that I can’t live without. She has such high hopes for me, bigger than I have for myself sometimes, but I don’t know…I couldn’t see myself giving it to anyone else, even if it wasn’t for real.”
She’s quiet for another moment before she looks up at me. “Do you believe in soul mates?”
I scoff. “That would require me to have a soul.”
Dakota playfully punches me on the shoulder. “Chance, I’m being serious.” She’s trying to act tough, but I can see the hint of a smile coming out.
I cup her face and tilt her chin, making her look into my eyes so she knows how serious I’m being. “I can’t say that I’ve ever really thought about it. I know that my parents were deeply in love, and it gutted my mom when my dad died. I also know that I’ve never felt anything remotely like that for anyone before.” I take a breath, preparing myself for what I’m about to admit. “I don’t know what love feels like, Dakota, but I know that what I feel for you is scary as hell. You piss me off and turn me on in a way no one else has. You also get me in a way that no one ever has, too.”
“I want to believe you, Chance.”
“But?”
“But…you told me you’re not a forever kind of guy. I don’t know what to do with this information. Do we just try until you get bored and decide you’ve had enough? Do you string me along for as long as it works for you? And then what? Where does that leave me?”
“When I said that, I didn’t know I would end up feeling like this for you. I was still the asshole that cycled through women because I didn’t know what I wanted. Now I do.”
