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“I know, but still. I didn’t want to worry y’all or my momma and daddy. I truly believed Chad would never touch me like that again. He fucking disgusts me.”
“Good!” Macie and Rachel said together.
“When I picture his face, it sickens me. But what sickens me even more is my being foolish enough to trust Chad again.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, BFF. You’ve always been a second-chance kind of girl because your heart’s so big and forgiving. That’s not a flaw.”
I sighed. “Thanks.”
“Back to what I was saying about Chad contacting you… Are you going to answer his call or reply to his text when you receive it? Because one of the two will happen, if not both, within the next few days.”
“He’s not going to contact me.”
“Men like Chad are predictable. Remember, I dealt with one just like him.”
“I know you did.”
“So?”
“Let me put you both at ease,” I said, looking at my girls. “If Chad contacts me in any form, I’m not responding. Okay?”
Rachel nodded while Macie kept staring at me. Then she said, “Even if he doesn’t contact you—although I feel in my bones that he is—you’re going to start feeling other emotions besides hurt and anger. They’ll mix you up inside, too, and tempt you to return to what’s familiar. But you’ve got to be strong, BFF.”
“Well, it’s hard to be that way when listening to songs like that one,” I said, motioning toward her cellphone lying on the pool deck.
The corners of her mouth curled up. “But that’s not a Chad song.”
I didn’t say another word. Instead, I swam over to the side of the pool, set down my cup of wine, and started over “If I Didn’t Love You” by Jason Aldean and Carrie Underwood. Then I rested my arms and head on the edge of the deck while listening to the lyrics and remembering when Rhys sent this song to me.
It was exactly one month to the day after I ended our relationship that I received his shocking text. I was at my duplex, lying in bed and unable to sleep, when my cellphone chimed a little before midnight. I gasped at seeing Rhys’s name displayed on the screen, and then my heart dropped when I saw the song he wanted me to listen to. I knew better than to tap on the link, but I did it anyway.
When I heard the first lyrics, the tears I’d been holding back began flowing like a waterfall and continued until well after the song ended. I kept staring at my cellphone, desperately wanting to reply to Rhys. I didn’t know what to say, though. Nothing other than, “I’m sorry for breaking your heart—and I still love you, too.”
I finally gave in and typed out those words to him. Then I deleted them, tossed my cellphone to the foot of my bed, and cried myself to sleep.
CH 9 - #freedom
Riley
“GOOD MORNING, DADDY,” I said, smiling at him.
“Good morning, sweetheart. Cup of coffee?”
“I’ll get it. You stay put.” After pouring myself a cup, I joined him at the kitchen table. “I guess Momma is still getting ready for work.”
“She is.”
“You sure look spiffy in your collared shirt, tie, and dress pants.”
My daddy chuckled. “Thank you. What’s your plan for today?”
“Just hanging out here. I might go drive around or shop. I don’t know yet.”
“Still haven’t heard from Chad?”
“No. Macie thought for certain that he was going to contact me, but it’s been four days. I’m not going to hear from him.”
“Do you want to?”
