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“I wish y’all had told me because I didn’t see it until I found myself lost in Rhys on the dance floor,” I choked out.
“He got lost in you, too, BFF. When you laid your head on his shoulder, he closed his eyes and had the most serene expression on his face. He looked like he was in heaven just as you did.”
“At that moment, I felt like I was.”
“I watched you and Rhys the entire time you danced, and when you outlined his lips with your fingertip and traced his jawline, I thought he was going to kiss you. I could tell that he was thinking about doing it. Did you want him to?”
“Yes,” I sighed. “Then reality hit me. That’s when I started falling apart.”
“What about reality made you do that?”
“The loss of Rhys and me. How badly I hurt him. And then there’s Chad. I feel guilty about letting things go as far as they did with Rhys.”
Rachel squeezed my hand. “Don’t feel guilty, sister. I’ll tell you like I told Rhys while dancing with him. Y’all needed to have that one last dance for closure.”
“But closure didn’t happen. At least it doesn’t feel that way to me.”
There was a light knock on my bedroom door. It was my momma. “Are you doing any better, honey?” she asked, concern showing in her eyes.
“A little. It’s just…” I shrugged and wiped my nose with a Kleenex.
“I know. If you need me or your daddy, come get us.”
“I will. Love you.”
“We love you.”
After she closed the door, I looked at my sister and Macie. We were sitting on the floor with our bags of snacks from earlier.
“Give me some of your Lemonheads,” Rachel said, holding out her hand toward me.
I gave her the box because I couldn’t stomach anything. When I offered Macie my bag, she shook her head no.
“What I want isn’t in there,” she said.
“Taco Bell run?”
“That’s not it, either. I want you to talk to Rhys again. You cannot leave town with things like this between you and him.”
“There’s nothing else to say.”
“There’s plenty to say that you won’t say because you’re a big chicken. It’s time you stopped hiding how you really feel about Rhys.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “What do you want me to say? That I’m still in love with him? That I regret ending our relationship and moving to Fort Worth? That I think about him all the time and dream about him too? How about I tell you that I imagine it’s him fucking me when Chad is? Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“How did it feel to get the truth out finally?”
I cut my eyes over at Rachel. She shrugged her shoulders and popped a Lemonhead into her mouth.
“I can’t do this with y’all,” I said, getting up off the floor and walking over to my bed to lie down.
I was pulling back the covers when I heard something hit the window closest to me and I gasped. Stepping over to it, I thought, Surely not, as my heart beat even faster. Then I saw Rhys standing in the front yard, looking up at me.
Like he used to do when we were in high school, he had thrown a pebble at my window to get my attention just now. I’d lost count of the times that he came over past my curfew, wanting to see and kiss me one more time before he went to sleep. He could’ve texted me to get me to sneak out on all those occasions but preferred the old-fashioned approach.
Macie and Rachel walked up beside me and waved at Rhys. After he waved back, he pointed at me and motioned for me to come outside. I looked at my girls.
“Just go!” Macie ordered. Then she and my sister spun me around and pushed me toward the bedroom door.
