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“I can’t even ice skate. And I don’t think that’d really do it for him, anyway.” I try to imagine what Cameron’s reaction would be to me acting out that way ... and all I can picture is him cringing.
“But you do admit you’re thinking about it?” Garrett smirks, exchanging a look with Brittany.
It suddenly feels like the two of them are ganging up on me—and I’m not so sure I like it.
“I don’t know,” I say flatly.
“Well, I’ll just give you one piece of advice.” Garrett clears his throat, leaning his elbow against the table. “Having a successful career is really great—and on some level, it’s fulfilling. It’s nice to see how far we’ve come from where we started. The applause feels good. People respect us and talk about how talented and intelligent we are, but...”
“But what?”
“But at the end of the day, we go home alone. There’s no one there to greet us. There are no kids playing in the yard. I don’t know about you, but my house is uninviting, so I spend all my free time at the gym or working. What happens when the work is over? What happens when I retire and there’s no more work to be done?”
His question rings in my head, taking up all the space I have left.
“That’s a lot.” Brittany clears her throat. “Maybe let’s not overwhelm her with all of this. Everyone has different perspectives, and some people really like their life the way it is. She has friends and—”
“Brittany,” I interject, giving her a smile. “I appreciate you taking up for me the way you have, but the truth is ... he’s right. I love my career and I love what I do, but I do have a void in my personal life. And as much as I hate to admit it, it’s self-inflicted. When I lost my gran, the pain was simply too much. I became so scared to lose someone again that I pushed everyone away and buried even my deepest desires of getting married and having a family along with her. After that, I just couldn’t connect with anyone. I ended up putting all my energy into my career because it was safe and then proceeded to spend my life on the screen, appearing like I had friends.”
“But you did have friends…” Brittany looks confused. “We’ve been friends.”
“Yeah, but I kept you and everyone else at arm’s length, always assuming they had some ulterior motive, while maintaining a facade that everything was great on social media. The reality is I’ve never been more lonely. And I guess it took everything that happened between Cameron and me to finally realize that I really do crave to be loved— romantically. For the first time since losing my gran, I crave connection … in all the ways.”
“I feel like I’m witnessing an epiphany,” Brittany says, a smile pulling at her lips. “Does this mean you’re going to do the grand gesture for Cameron?”
I purse my lips, mulling it over in my head. “I don’t know. I don’t even know if he’d want me at his game. He unfollowed me and all that.”
“But he just liked your post,” Garrett points out. “So, if he unfollowed you, that means that he searched you out and liked the post. My guess is that he unfollowed you so he wouldn’t have to see you thriving without him…”
“It’s true.” Brittany nods along in agreement. “I’ve unfollowed people for that exact reason. It can be hard to see them move on and be happy when you’re still hung up on them. I don’t imagine that Cameron has just magically moved on. That’s not how love works.”
“Not all the time,” Garrett adds, his voice growing with excitement. “Look up when the game is. We can all go. It’ll be fun.”
“You mean, it’ll be fun to watch me embarrass myself.”
“How so? We’re there for moral support,” Brittany emphasizes, picking up her glass of water and taking a sip. “I think it’d be good for you to be surrounded by your friends.”
“Yeah ... but...” I glance over to Garrett, who’s watching Brittany carefully as she takes a drink of water. The man eats her up like she’s a goddess or something. It’s entertaining, and the more I watch them together, the more I realize that Cameron looked at me the same way...
Ugh.
I need to make things right.
Will he forgive me?
What if it’s too late?
“Maybe I should call him first,” I say, picking up my phone. “That would probably be the best way to ensure I don’t embarrass myself.”
“No,” Garrett and Brittany say in unison.
“You have to surprise him,” she adds. “And I think it’d be even more romantic if you did something at the game...”
“I agree. But when is the game?” I shrug, picking up my phone and making my way to Google. I type in the question and hit the enter button, waiting for the response.
My heart drops as I read the date.
“What?” Brittany urges as she sits on the edge of her seat.
