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That doesn’t matter right now.
In fact, it doesn’t matter at all.
I’m alone with my thoughts, which is what I wanted.
I start the car and drive through the silent streets of Boston, the neon lights are my only companion.
But I decide to make a quick pit stop before my final destination.
Half an hour later, I arrive.
Eager and restless, I climb the stairs as fast as I can. Breathless, I knock on the door.
Emmy opens it and looks at me, not understanding what’s happening. “Evan? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?”
I cross the two steps that divide us, wrap my arms around her, and kiss her hungrily.
Finally, I’m home.
Chapter Twenty
Emmy
It’s about half past eleven at night. The bedroom is hot and my pajamas make me feel like I’m boiling. I’m trying to watch an episode of Friends, but the laugh track is giving me a headache. I turn off the TV and watch the starry sky through my bedroom window.
I think of Evan like I’ve been doing every day since our last conversation on my balcony.
Since I saw him with Carol at the wedding, it’s all I can think of, really, even though I know that I should be focusing on other things now.
Evan belongs to the past.
To my past—our past.
Perhaps I should’ve done things differently, perhaps I should’ve confessed my feelings for him that night on the balcony but now it’s too late.
He’s dating Carol and I’m moving to Los Angeles to start a new life.
I reach across the bed and open the drawer of my nightstand. About thirty lip balms roll around—bright yellow, the caps dark red and shiny. I grab one, open it, and inhale the cherry aroma. Even though I’m in bed, I put on the lip balm, and immediately the taste and smell make me ache for Evan.
Knock. Knock.
The knock on my door wakes me up from my reverie. Afraid that something bad might’ve happened, I jump out of bed and run to open it.
Before I have a chance to register what’s happening, Evan wraps his powerful arms around me and his lips devour mine.
He kisses me passionately and ravenously, with an eagerness that I’ve never felt before. My wildest fantasies could never even match what I’m feeling right now, what I’m living in this moment. I part my lips for him and he deepens our kiss.
He tastes absolutely divine—like warm peppermint and chapstick. I wrap my arms around his neck and tangle my fingers in his hair as we get lost in each other. He gently cradles the nape of my neck, sending tingles from my head to my toes. I sink into him and allow myself to be carried away in the moment, not caring about anything or anyone.
I don’t know what this all means but, for one single instant in time, he’s mine.
He’s mine and we’re happy.
“Don’t go … Don’t go to Los Angeles. Please … I love you so much,” he says, his hands caressing the sides of my face, his breath heavy and ragged.
“Evan…”
“Please! I’m begging you. I can’t live without you, Emmy. There’s just no way! You’ve been the best and most important part of my life since I was thirteen. If you leave now, if I never see you again, I just … won’t live anymore. My heart will stop. You must understand this. I love you and I can’t help it!” he says, his arms closing around me tighter and tighter.
