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Behind me, a small voice attracts my attention. “Umm … Evan?”
I turn around and see the woman who came in with Emmy, Larisa, and Jo.
“Yes? How may I help you?” I ask, feeling a bit peeved that she’s using my birth name as opposed to Dr. Davis—considering we’re at the hospital, and we’ve never met before.
“Oh, I was just wondering where I can get a cup of coffee? You know, as I wait for Emmy to come out?” the woman asks me.
I gaze at her for a moment, knowing full well that I just gave this information to Larisa and Jo. “There’s a cafeteria downstairs for nurses and doctors, but it’s open to patients’ families as well—if you want to eat or have some coffee. Otherwise, there’s a Starbucks across the road,” I reply for the second time in under a minute, feeling like a tour guide in my own hospital.
“Really? Is that so? How fancy!” She laughs even though I didn’t say anything funny.
“Yes. Didn’t you hear me tell Jo and Larisa?”
“Oh, I must’ve missed it!” she replies, running a hand through her red hair.
“I’m sorry, do I know you? You keep referring to me as Evan, but I’m not sure we’ve met before. How do you know my name?”
She starts laughing again, this time even harder, leaving me baffled. I truly haven’t said a single thing that could be perceived as even remotely funny.
“No, heavens no! I mean, you don’t know me. But I do know you!” She winks.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“No, no! Goodness, that came out wrong. I’m not a stalker or anything like that! But I did look at your Instagram page a few times! Your favorite ice cream flavor is rum and raisin, right? Yum! Well, I think it’s gross, but yum!” she keeps talking, making me more confused than ever.
I have the vague impression that this is how celebrities must feel when they meet random fans who know far too much about them than they should.
“Again, I’m sorry. I don’t understand what’s happening. Who are you?” I ask her.
“Carol! Carol Masters!” She laughs loudly and presses her hand lightly against my chest. In a very studied gesture, she then passes the same hand through her hair again, ruffling it slightly.
“I don’t think we’ve met, Carol.”
“Of course, we have! Just a minute ago! Remember? I came up to you and introduced myself!”
“Yes, well. I was working. This is an emergency room,” I say, my voice dripping in sarcasm. “And I was focused on Emmy.”
“Emmy, yes. Emmy is a great girl, isn’t she?”
“Of course. Carol, do you have any business here or did you just wander off the street because you’re a fan of my Instagram?”
Without notice, she lets out a piercing laugh. If we were outside, it would’ve been enough to scare the pigeons away. Luckily for the pigeons, I’m the only one who has to deal with it.
“You’re so funny! So, so funny! I mean, like, seriously funny! Like top notch, stand-up, SNL, Pete Davidson, levels of—”
“I get it. I’m funny. Thanks. But, you haven’t answered me. Do you actually know Emmy or…”
“Heavens, yes! We work together at Floreale! I was there when she slipped and fell and, of course, I accompanied her to the hospital. Poor thing, she’s so clumsy. But she’ll be fine, right? Tell me she’ll be fine, Evan, please!” She wraps both her hands around my arm, clinging to me like a drowning woman.
At the same time, two nurses come back into the emergency room. They see what’s happening and give us a suspicious look.
“How many best friends does he have?” I hear one of the nurses say to the other.
I pull my arm away from Carol’s grasp. “Yes, Emmy will be more than fine. Listen, why don’t you go home now? Larisa and Jo are here, as am I. Three people is more than enough. We’ll take care of Emmy. Alright?”
“If that’s what you want me to do…” she says in a flirty voice.
“Yes, that’s what I want.”
