Page 6 of Sealed in Ink
Chrissy often says his name like that, with a hint of awe that makes me want to tear my best friend’s eyes out. It’s absolutely ridiculous. A pearl necklace flashes into my mind. Mom glares.Violence, dear, really?
“Brad doesn’t ask him for money.”
“I’d ask him for more than money,” Chrissy says, giggling, ha ha ha, with no idea how painful this is for me. “He’s so huge, it’s crazy. I was watching the fight commercial online. He towersoverthe cage.”
“Hmm-hmm,” I say, resisting the urge to tear up my napkin.
She smiles at me, really not meaning anything by it. I’ve never dared to tell her about the dreams that grip me sometimes of Rust laying that heavy, hard body against mine, trapping me so it’s likeI’mnot the one making the choice. I’d want it. I’d be wet for him. My body would tingle as it does just thinking about it, but it wouldn’t be bad.Hedid it. Not me. He’s claiming me, but I can’t tell anybody, ever. It would break Brad’s heart.
“You’re not going to work at a motel for the rest of your life,” she says.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re… Mary,” she explodes passionately, her bracelets jingling as she flails her arms. “It’s not like you got bad grades.”
“It’s different for us,” I say. “You want to be a nurse. You’ve got a path. What’s the point of me going to college and wasting all that money when I don’t even know what I want to do?”
“That’s fair, but it’s not just college. What about boyfriends, hobbies, projects, something? Sometimes—I’m sorry—but sometimes I feel like you’re scared to live when you’ve got so much to offer.”
I smile and shake my head, trying to show her the face I show to everybody else. Mary, sometimes with a joke, mostly with a smile, is content to do her work and then go home and watch videos of her mother—the same ones, sometimes several times a day, with her beautiful halo of golden hair and smile.
“Don’t be a sinner, no matter what anybody says.”
It’s not healthy. That’s the worst part. Iknowit isn’t. I’ve promised myself I’ll stop so many times.
“It’s okay,” I tell Chrissy. “I’ll get my act together. You’ll see.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Seriously, I get it. You don’t have to explain.”
Tonight, I’ll delete the videos, but that’s a lie. There’s something sickly alluring about them, as if my mom’s voice and teachings guide me through life’s confusion. But what if Chrissy’s right? What if, because of them, I’m notlivinglife at all?
CHAPTER
THREE
RUST
“You had a falling out or something?” Marquis asks over the phone.
I’m thirty thousand feet in the air, my feet reclined on the private jet, looking down at the clouds. “No,” I tell my head coach.
“Then why the sudden reluctance?” he says in his French-Canadian accent.
“I just said I’m not sure how much benefit it has.”
“That’s a silly thing to say, Rust. Let me tell you because you obviously don’t need me to explain your own career to you. Right, my friend? You couldn’t possibly need me to remind you that you went to be with your friend after your first and only career loss. You found peace, and you came back as a warrior. No? Hello?”
Marquis’ douchey tone is almost enough to make a man smile. “I get your point.”
“And I don’t need to explain that?—”
“I get it. Cain Cruz beat me once before. Now, he holds the title. It’s more important than ever, but Cain beat me because he wasbetter than me. He started training in wrestling when he was a kid. I’ve improved since.”
“Yes, and this has been a part of it!” Marquis snaps. “So you go. That’s it. End of story.”
“Relax. I’m on the plane.”
