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"No." Blake's voice was unreasonably hard. "We've said everything there is to say. It's up to her now, remember? Ball is in her court."
It didn't sit right with me, but I knew it was just because I was afraid to see her go. Blake was right. We had said our piece and left our cards on the table. We had done all we could.
We stood there in silence, lost in our own thoughts, and didn't see Nan coming, until she was right in front of us. "There you are Slade David," she fussed. "I've been looking all over tarnation for you. It's time to pass out gifts! Why aren't you dressed? Where is your Santa hat? Do you have your bells? And the gift bag?"
Chuckling, I pulled myself out of my inner struggle and back to the present. "Yes, Nan. It's all upstairs. I'll go change while you round up the troops."
She smiled and nodded, patting my cheek, and I turned to head up to my room. It was time to get my Santa on.
* * *
Blake
Slade was always Santa, because, well, he was Slade. I could never have done it, but even though he was in a mood, when he re-entered the room, he was all Santa.
"Ho, ho, ho!" he boomed loudly, as the littlest children hid their faces and the older ones squealed in excitement, rushing to greet him. "I know you've all been very good this year!" he exclaimed with a smile, while I watched from the corner of the room, rolling my eyes.
The children all nodded emphatically, with awe in their eyes, while he heaved his giant bag down from his shoulder and made a show of peering inside. Inside, I knew, was a brightly wrapped package for each of them, courtesy of Nan, herself. It usually contained a pair of pajamas, a book, a homemade hat or scarf, some candy, and a five dollar bill. Maybe a rubber duck or toy car for the younger ones. The kids loved it, and Slade added the magical Christmas touch.
I watched from afar, as Slade passed out a gift to each one and smiled as they tore into them, leaving a mess of wrapping paper in their wake. Not a single adult made a move to clean it up. There were still piles of gifts underneath the tree, which Slade would pass out next, and the mess would get much worse before it got better.
My eyes sought out Merry, standing in a huddle behind Slade with Jane and April. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and her face was set in a hard mask, the emotions of which were not clearly conveyed. My heart sank to my knees, but I caught her eye and smiled at her and was briefly rewarded when she gave a half smile back.
After all the kids had unwrapped their gift, they rejoined their parents and the room shifted, as Slade made his way over to the massive tree which was piled high with gifts. We all drew two names and bought for two people, plus, of course, our own family or those we were closest to.
The result was a pile of gifts that Slade would spend the better part of an hour distributing. Nan's friends were distributing glasses of champagne and eggnog. Plates of cookies were scattered around the room. Pretty soon, one of the older kids would start singing a Christmas carol, and we would all join in.
I sipped from the glass of eggnog that had been handed to me and followed Slade with my eyes as he began to work his way through the pile. As always, I stood guard over his gifts, as well as my own. We each ended up with five, and we already knew what at least two of them were. Our gifts to each other were always the same—a bottle of whiskey for me, and a bottle of Scotch for him. Nan would have made us something—she always did—and our two secret Santa gifts. That was four. I looked down at my feet and conducted a quick recount. My heart skipped a beat when I recognized Merry's handwriting on a brightly colored gift bag. I picked it up and dangled it from my fingertips, grinning at her from across the room.
Her smile grew when she saw me, and she quickly crossed the room, her cheeks flushed, with a shy, expectant smile on her face. The sour disinterested scowl from earlier was completely gone.
I leaned down to greet her with a soft kiss, brushed across her lips. She didn't pull away, but she didn't linger, either. Her eyes never left the bag I was holding. Looking down at Slade's pile, I noticed he had a matching one. He was only about halfway done with the gifts, and we had to wait until the entire pile had been passed out. One of Nan's many rules.
Merry tried to snatch it from my hands, and I tsked at her. "That will get you put on the naughty list," I teased. "Where's yours? Did Santa bring you some presents or were you a bad girl?"
"I'm so bad, I'm good," she responded quickly, winking at me.
"Go get your gifts and bring them over here." I prodded, nudging her. I wanted her close to me for however long it lasted. She giggled, skipping over, and retrieved the small bundle, stopping to converse with Jane and April for a minute. She hugged Nan on her way by and winked at Slade as she passed him. Whatever had been wrong, earlier, she seemed fine, now, but maybe that was just the infectious Christmas spirit.
The caroling started, and our chance to chat had passed, but that was okay, because I didn't know what to say. It took three songs for Slade to finish passing out the gifts, but he finally joined us, still dressed in his Santa garb.
"Hey, little one." He greeted Merry with a smile, relief shining evident behind his beard. I picked up his gift bag and handed it to him. The way Merry had been eyeballing it, I wanted to know what was in it, more than I wanted my next breath.
"Hey, Santa," Merry teased, standing on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on Slade's cheek. Then, she turned to me.
"Daddy, you go first."
My brow crinkled in confusion and, under the beard, Slade wore a similar expression.
"Uh, Daddy's over there," I corrected gently, pointing at Slade.
She ignored me and pointed at the bag that was still dangling from my fingertips. "Open it!" she insisted.
"Okay, okay, fine." I began to unpack the copious layers of tissue, but my excitement had faded and had been replaced with confusion. That confusion was only compounded when I reached the bottom of the bag and pulled out a card. The front of the envelope read "Daddy".
I turned it over and began to open the flap, but she held up a hand to stop me. "Now, you." She pointed at Slade.
Slade shot me a side eye and repeated the same process I had, yielding the same result.
