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Wow, this bare bottom corner time really does the trick, Diamond laughed to herself, imagining how she must look at the moment. Nose pressed against the wall, pants around her ankles, arguing with herself.
She stopped the argument, but her brain didn’t stop working. It continued to race through conflicting thoughts at a million miles a minute, until she could add sobbing, tear stained snot covered face to the list of reasons she looked downright crazy.
Pax came in, turned her around, took one look at her, and lifted her into his arms, carrying her to the bed to sit in his lap. He grabbed tissues from the bedside table, and softly wiped her nose, holding one to her nose so she could blow.
“That’s looks like it was an intense timeout. Want to talk about it?”
“I can’t,” she sobbed, soaking the front of his shirt with her tears. “There’s too many things, and they all run together, and contradict each other, and I can’t make heads or tails of any of it. The only thing that makes any sense to me at the moment is you. That’s it. Not BDSM, not spanking, not working at Rojo, not why I can’t seem to get it right as a sub—none of that makes any sense. I can’t find any peace about it, and just when I think I have, some other totally different contradictory thought comes straights out of left field and blindsides me.”
“I see. Would it help if I said I’m having the same kind of day, and I think I overreacted a bit and I’m sorry?”
She sniffled, and looked up at him, with hopeful eyes. “Maybe.”
“We’ve hardly gotten any sleep the last few nights, we’ve been burning the candle at both ends for several days, and the one day we do plan to sleep in, we are woken up early and greeted by utter chaos. It’s enough to overwhelm anybody. Add in the fact that there are no less than a thousand photographers downstairs just biding their time, waiting for a glimpse of either one of us, or even better, both of us together—and that they are literally taking over a place that is both our work and our home—we were doomed for some sort of miscommunication or blow up. It was bound to happen. And for my part in it, I’m truly sorry. I should have run it by you. It does directly affect you, and I should have been more considerate. I felt like I was doing the right thing, and I’m used to being the final word in all decisions. But just because I am the final word, doesn’t mean I need to necessarily be the only word.”
“So what you’re saying is you could have at least pretended that I had a say?” She giggled, already feeling slightly better. Pax had a way with words. He was good at cutting right to the core of what was bothering her, and offering reassurance while still expressing his own needs and frustrations.
“I think I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt today, and because of that, I overcompensated.”
“Guilt? Why!”
“Well,” he began, stroking her hair with one hand as he spoke, while his other hand possessively gripped her neck. “I feel, however misguided that it may be, that I failed in protecting you in this. I could have refrained from kissing you on the porch once I saw that guy in the tree. I could have told you not to take pictures with certain people at work. Several of them are heavy into the online scene as well, and I knew that. I could have protected you from it, by using wisdom, and thinking with an organ other than the one between my legs. But ever since I meant you, everything I thought I was has flown out the window. I don’t use common sense, I act impulsively, I throw schedules out the window. And it’s fun, and it’s healthy, and it’s very freeing, but I need to be more strident in remembering when it is acceptable to act impulsively, and when I need to put your safety first and foremost above all else. I feel like I failed in that this week and I’m sorry. Sometimes the lines blur, and they need to be balanced. And sometimes in order for you to figure out where that balance is, there has to be a little chaos, and mistakes have to be made. And that’s just the reality of it. But in the end, the one thing that is clear, is that stressful day aside, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And at the end of the day, all the blurred lines, and regret and mistakes fall away, and here we are dom and sub, and that’s how we have to operate.”
“Oh.” It had come back to that. Of course it had. No matter how sweet and considerate and romantic Pax was, if she had a punishment coming, it would always come back to that. It was one of the things that made him an excellent dom. “I’m sorry I got mad and yelled at you and didn’t trust you to make a good decision with my best interest at heart.
“It’s already been forgiven, my dear. I’m sorry I didn’t consult you on the matter that affects you as much as the rest of us, and I’m very sorry I overreacted. I wasn’t very kind when I brought you in here, and you certainly don’t deserve the cane. The hairbrush maybe, but not the cane.”
“No!” Diamond whined pathetically, not really feeling that way at all. The entire day had had been overwhelming, and emotional, and every one of her senses was crying out for the sort of tear inducing, conscience cleansing, role reaffirming spanking that only a hairbrush could provide. She was never so relieved as when Pax ignored her protests, and rummaged in the nightstand drawer, withdrawing the wretched brush. Oh how she loved to hate that thing.
“Oh, I think so, my pet. I think that’s exactly what we both need. C’mon now, get up over my knee.”
She obeyed grudgingly questioning as she went. “You need a hairbrush spanking too?” she teased. “Are you a switch now?”
“No,” Pax growled. Laying into her ass with the hairbrush, lightly, but immediately. “I am not a switch. Sometimes, it can be just as cathartic for a dominant to administer a spanking as it is for the submissive to receive one, smart ass.”
“Oh, okay!” Diamond tried to giggle, but it came out choked, as the hairbrush was now falling hard and fast. It wasn’t having the same panic inducing flight or fight response it had had the first time, and she worked really hard on receiving it and all that came with it. Every painful stroke had meaning to her, from her insecurities as a submissive to her lack of trust in her dominant to the hell in a hand basket day that they had both had. She suspected it was the same for Pax, although he didn’t speak. For once, he was fully content to let the spanking do all of his talking for him, and Diamond found it oddly relaxing. The wooden brush beat a drum solo against her backside, and she relaxed into the rhythm of it. As spankings went, it was a short one, but it was everything it needed to be.
When it was finished, Pax claimed her as his, loving her completely, in a way that no man ever had, and content and relaxed, she drifted off to sleep.
