AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Focusing on anything but the fact that he’s raping me.
Turning my head, I see a picture of him framed on his nightstand. It’s odd to have a picture of yourself on your nightstand and not of someone else.
A psychopath would have his own picture in a frame.
I should have listened to my brother when he warned me. I should have done a lot of things.
I should have.
I could have.
I didn’t.
Instead of hating Andrew, I just hate myself.
I hate that I’m weak.
I hate that I’m scared and was so lonely that I allowed myself to be tricked and captured by a monster.
I hate that I’m allowing this to happen and can’t find my voice to stop it.
I hate.
So, so much.
Chapter 2
Poppy
The present.
I hate that I remember every detail of that night, like the song that was playing in the distance, the feeling of Andrew’s soft sheets under my skin, the pattern of the gilded scrolls on that fucking picture frame of him on his nightstand.
I hate.
I hated it for a very long time.
I blamed myself because part of my actions and non-actions were to blame. It’s true.
I hated so much until one day, I wanted to change; I needed to rewrite my past. That’s when I decided to start a new chapter. I gave up on a brother who had given up on me a long time ago. I wanted to date again and make a new memory. By that time, I did want to have sex; I needed it like I needed my next breath. I needed a new memory, even if it was with a stranger. I was determined not to let my entire life be haunted by what Andrew did to me.
He had moved on, and so could I.
But the past plagued me, haunting me every time I went out on a date. That is until Julian, because the first time he looked at me, it was like he saw the shadow of the woman I was. Instead of looking away, he stared right at me, provoking me to get the fuck up and start trying to trust again.
I believe inside every person is a monster lurking; in desperate times, we do terrible things. We preach we want world peace but then justify world wars. We make inventions that can save billions but also kill millions. Humans are good and evil combined.
It’s impossible to find an angel here on earth; therefore, I just needed to find a man who had learned to cage his beast and not let it run freely as Andrew did.
I finally found that man; I feel Julian’s eyes on me, wrapping around me like a life vest, trying to keep me afloat when all I want to do was sink. I feel his fingers curling tighter around mine, refusing to let my hand slip from his.
So I threw up all over his boardroom table when I realized that all along Andrew had, in fact, been keeping tabs on me; I’ve brought a mess, literally, on Julian’s doorstep and have interrupted his work life with my problems, yet here he is with his Calvary trying to defend me.
I don’t deserve a man like Julian Sterling.
A throat clears again,“Is there anyone you can think of who would want to hurt you, Poppy?” Daniel asks. Dan, as in Julian’s uncle. He joined the party, and fortunately, we moved it to Julian’s office since the boardroom was now covered in vomit.
Julian’s fingers pulse against mine, silently trying to coax me to speak. I can’t speak, nor can I tell him what happened. If I tell him what Andrew did, he’ll never look at me the same again; he will never want to touch me freely, and I’ll lose the best thing I ever had, truly being loved and cherished.
