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She turns wounded eyes toward me, “That’s unfair, and you know it.” She stammers in a shaky voice.
I take a deep breath, trying to control my temper. “Look, we both know this goes deeper than a missed lunch.” I tell her in a hard voice, “You just need to trust me. I’m doing everything for the right reasons.” There’s now a sharp edge to my voice as well.
At my words, her eyes go wide in outrage, “I need to trust that you’re doing it for the right reasons?” Her voice is cutting, “When you can’t trust me at all? You won’t even let me tell you about my marriage. Let alone talk about Graham—“
“Stop! Not another word.” I ruthlessly cut off her communication. “I don’t want to hear about your marriage or your late husband,” I say with a sneer.
“Carson, if you’ll just let me explain—“ I hear the pleading in her voice, but I clench my jaw and shake my head. “No, Anna. Not in my house. I don’t ever want to hear one word spoken about him.“ I grit my teeth as I refuse even to speak his name. The words I tossed down are like a challenge as I stand my ground.
I watch Anna, her throat working as she gulps in a few hurried breaths. She closes her eyes, and when she opens them, they are swimming in tears. I refuse to let her tears sway me. She finally nods in defeat. We both hear the main shower turn off. Anna hurries into the master bathroom.
When she emerges sometime later, her tears have dried. But the stress lines around her eyes only appear deeper.
I shrug off my guilt at the sorrow I saw in her eyes earlier. I push it firmly down as I try to convince myself that I have the right to demand she not speak his name. But deep down, I know that I’m being unreasonable in my request. Yet, I stubbornly don’t change my mind.
A week’s gone by, and it’s again the weekend. We’re driving over to my mother’s for the family cookout. Anna brought her Cherry Delight dessert at Connor’s insistence.
My son sits in the back of the car, his eyes wide in anticipation of the family gathering. “These cookouts,” he asks, leaning forward in his seat, “they started with your dad, right? My grandpa?”
He’s asked me to tell him about the cookouts. “Yes, Carlton Knight, the man you’re named after.” I have to clear the huskiness from my voice before I go on.
“He loved to entertain as much as my mother. Every four months or so, he’d throw a big hog roast and invite everyone he knew. It soon became legendary.” I say with a bit of laughter in my voice. “After my dad died, the cookouts stopped for years. When your Uncle Chase married Val, she said your grandma might be lonely. So, we started having the cookouts again.”
Connor pipes up, “And you had to buy a new cooker, right?” I grin, as he’s heard the story many times but never grows tired of it. “Right, a new smoker.” Then I continue as I promise, “Today, you’ll get to meet all sorts of family. There’s going to be a huge crowd.”
The car engine clicks off, and I hop out. I grab the door for Anna as she carefully balances the sweet dessert.
I take her hand, and we weave through the people who have arrived. The air is filled with the smoky scent of grilling meat. It’s a picture-perfect day—the sky is flawless blue, with not a single cloud in sight.
My brothers and I had tarps strung up to provide shade from the relentless Florida sun. The soothing sound of the nearby river provides a constant soundtrack as the backyard fills with a mixture of happy chatter and laughter.
My brothers and I man the grill and smoker. While tables groan under the heavy weight of the numerous covered dishes that promise a multitude of different tasty bites. While kegs of beer and overflowing ice chests offer cool refreshments.
There are several boats already docked, and their owners are expertly securing them to the wooden pier. The huge boathouse stands as a silent sentinel, watching over the scene.
I scan the crowd, searching for Connor. A smile spreads across my face as I spot him by the river, playing with a group of kids. He’s met more family members today than he ever imagined possible. His eyes widen with wonder as everyone takes turns introducing him to the entire Knight clan. When Anna tries to hang back, I take her hand firmly and include her in the introductions to my family and friends. Her delighted smile was my reward.
Jaxson greets us with a hug for Connor and a grin for Anna. He throws me a quizzical glance. “Acquaintance, huh? I get it. I guess you weren’t ready to explain about your son.” He pats me on the back heartily. Turning, he introduces Anna to his wife, Maggie, a vibrant redhead with sparkling green eyes. He picks up their daughter, Mandy, a toddler with Maggie’s red hair and his own dark eyes. She waves shyly, then hides her face in her father’s shoulder.
My family welcomes Connor with open arms. Every single one of them embraces him with a welcoming hug. The old-timers, those who remember me as a child, declare the resemblance “uncanny.” To them, the three of us are a family, even without a ring on Anna’s finger.
My eyes follow Anna as she makes her way through the dwindling crowd. She’s wearing a blue flowy sundress that swirls around her legs, and the bright sunlight makes her chestnut hair gleam.
If my family and friend’s speculative glances bother Anna, she doesn’t let it show. I give a deep frown. She’s been quiet lately, not her usual cheery self. At first, I thought I might have irrevocably broken the fragile bond that had started to form between us with my outburst that she not talk about the past. But there’s no outward resentment, no simmering anger directed at me. No, this runs deeper. A silent worry seems to follow her like a cloud.
Living together, spending time together…, and sharing stolen moments throughout the day have only reinforced my attraction to her.
She gives a zest to my life that wasn’t there before. She’s so easy to be around. Never one to hold a grudge, she’s sunshine to my grumpiness. Her soft smiles and gentle touches have me racing to get home at the end of the day.
They also leave me craving more from her. I’ve tried hard to keep her at a distance because I can’t erase the past. But another part of me aches for a deeper connection, a hint of the spark I saw in her eyes so many years ago.
A heavy sigh escapes me as I realize the truth—the truth I’ve been hiding. I’m in danger of falling in love with Anna, and it terrifies me. It could shatter the world as I know it, leaving me with only torn fragments of my once-guarded heart.
Twenty-Six
Anna
Late afternoon shadows dance through the leaves. It’s been a wonderful day filled with family, laughter, and an endless stream of introductions. Connor has certainly enjoyed himself.
