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When we enter the grounds of the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens, Connor is practically bouncing with excitement as he runs ahead of us.
“Don’t get too far ahead, Connor,” Anna calls after him.
The day is bright with sunshine and the sky is a clear azure blue with hardly a cloud in the sky.
Anna glances over a me and says, “We couldn’t have picked a better day.”
I grin in agreement as I pull out the provided map of the animal exhibits. We briefly skim the brochure and then put it away as we follow the main trail that leads us to the African Loop.
It’s a long boardwalk where we can observe the animals in an open environment.
We see the flamingos first. Anna walks over to the plaque and reads, “Flamingos get their pink color from the carotenoid pigments they get from the shrimp and algae they eat.”
Connor turns to us and says, “They must eat a lot of shrimp to get that pink.” Then he laughs as if he told a joke.
His steps fly over the boardwalk as we continue walking the loop. He sees a warthog and starts singing a song from the movie The Lion King. Then he stops singing, and his eyes go wide when he spies the zoo’s white rhinoceros.
“He’s huge. I’ve never seen a rhinoceros before,” he admits. “The white ones are rare,” I tell him as I read the plaque. He just nods at my words, not taking his eyes off the beast.
Connor loves the zebras. Anna and I both are snapping photos as we meander along while Connor sprints from one exhibit to the other. “Connor, stand over here so I can get the zebras in the background.” Connor faces her with a big grin on his face, and then he’s off again, practically running toward the next exhibit.
We spend extra time when we reach the Elephant Plaza. Since the day is hot, the behemoth animals loiter in the shallow pool as their trunks spray water onto their backs.
Next up is the Giraffe Overlook. Connor practically vibrates with excitement as we climb the stairs to a wide desk that puts us at eye level with the lofty animals. Their long necks sway gracefully, and their gentle eyes follow us around.
Connor erupts with an excited giggle as one of the creatures reaches in and nibbles the twig he holds out to it. “Did you see? Did you see the giraffe eat it right out of my hand?” he asks, his voice high-pitched with joy.
Anna and I both give him a fond smile as his mother says, “Yes, I snapped a picture,” she states, showing him the image on her phone.
“Cool!” Connor declares before bounding off again.
An older couple standing nearby sees Anna taking pictures, “Would you like us to take a picture of your family in front of the giraffes?”
I see Anna’s cheeks go pink, but none of us feel the need to correct the woman. Instead, we simply line up in front of the majestic animals, turn, and smile at the lady. I place my hand on Connor’s shoulder as the woman takes a couple of photos.
Before we walk down from the platform, I check my phone. I already have half a dozen pictures of my son. Each photo captures a different image of his youthful, wide-eyed wonder. I suspect images of him will soon be filling up my phone, like all the other proud parents I know.
I glance up and see Anna giving me a knowing look. I immediately give her a crooked smile back, forgetting in the moment my harsh animosity toward her.
Connor yells, “Mom! Mom! Look at the tigers!” My eyes follow Anna as she hurries to catch up with our son. I notice how the sunlight brings out the highlights in her chestnut hair. The sway of her hips and her long, shapely legs. I hear her laugh at something Connor says, and the soft chime of her laughter reminds me of how much I enjoyed spending time with her before—
“Dad!” The single word bursts from Connor; it is just one word, but it freezes me in place. I glance up to see Connor gesturing wildly for me to join them. My throat tightens with pent-up emotions. He probably doesn’t even realize that’s the first time he’s ever called me that. It just came tumbling out naturally in his eagerness to get my attention. It’s a slip of the tongue for him, but it feels like a dam has broken within me. It releases a flood of emotions that threatens to overflow as I quickly brush the back of my hand over my eyes.
As I approach, I glance over Connor’s head and see Anna, suspicious moisture in her eyes. She tries unsuccessfully to blink it away. She gives me a watery smile and just nods. It’s a sweet moment of unspoken understanding shared between us. Our son is blissfully oblivious to the emotions swirling around him. He continues to exclaim over the shaggy, powerful beasts pacing back and forth in their large enclosure.
We stop for lunch within the zoo at the Palm Plaza Cafe. After we get our sandwiches, we find a table shaded from the bright sun and sit down. Connor can hardly sit still in his seat as he describes the different animals he’s seen so far.
I sit there amidst the sights and sounds of the zoo. The murmur of the crowd of people around us and Connor’s animated face as he mimics an elephant lifting his trunk. I realize that I haven’t felt this happy, this content in a long time. My eyes go to Connor and the woman sitting beside him. Her chin propped on her hand as she smiles at our son. She reaches out and gently smooths a stray lock from his forehead. I witness the love she feels for him, and something shifts inside me. She’s suddenly the same girl I fell for all those years ago.
I have to remind myself of her betrayal. I need to keep that at the forefront. She’s a danger to my equilibrium, and I need to keep my distance.
I abruptly stand. “Let me throw these containers away,” I say gruffly as I pick them up and find a trash can.
By the time I feel in control and walk back, Connor is up on his feet and practically dragging Anna toward the next exhibit. Luckily, it’s another large cat breed, a shadow of jaguars. Connor immediately falls silent as he studies them. They flick their tails lazily back and forth, yet their gazes remain alert and intense, betraying them as predators.
I read the plaque, “Shadow of Jaguars. Jaguars are solitary animals and don’t usually form groups. They are sometimes called a ‘prowl’ or a ‘leap,’ but the term ‘shadow’ emphasizes their ability to blend into their surroundings.”
I turn to look at my son, and he seems fascinated with the large cats, “You know we have a football team here, the Jacksonville Jaguars. We’ll have to go to a game sometime.”
