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“Yes, you’re right. But knowing what you thought of me after what happened…,” I glance over at him, then away, “And probably still think—. I decided it was best for me and Connor if you never found out you had a son.”
“Obviously, you were wrong. It’s apparent that what you thought was best wasn’t.” His words and eyes like steel, he continues in a tight voice, “Otherwise, Connor wouldn’t have secretly skipped school and hopped on a bus - alone to try and find me.”
I feel my cheeks burn under his unwavering gaze, “I didn’t realize how badly Connor wanted to learn about his father. It wasn’t…” My voice trails off, searching for an excuse, but I can’t find one. I twist my fingers together. “I should have known once he found that picture of us…”
Carson nods, “Yes, he looks just like I did when I was his age.” I notice the glint of pride in his eyes as he talks about Connor. “I might have even hopped a bus or two. He’s gutsy I’ll give him that. What bothers me is what could have happened if I hadn’t been at the office.” He looks over at me, and I can see the accusation in his eyes.
“Yes, that bothers me, too.” I glance back at Carson and take a deep breath. “Now that you know about Connor. I.. um… I suppose you’ll want to spend some time with him?”
“Spend some time with him?” His voice echoes in the room, each word a hammer blow to my already fragile hope. He shoots up from the chair and starts pacing in front of me.
He spins around, towering over me. “Yes, Anna. I want to spend some time with my son. I think it’s only fair since you’ve had him all to yourself for ten years.”
The knot of fear in my stomach tightens. I knew this conversation was coming, but the possessiveness in his tone cuts deep.
“We just moved to Orlando. My lease is temporary. I would be willing to move closer—“ I stop mid-sentence as Carson shakes his head slowly, a gesture that sends a fresh wave of panic through me. What’s he planning? What does he want?
I try again. “Moving closer isn’t an option? Fine. If you’d rather just see him during summer vacation—“ Again, he shakes his head, his face expressionless.
I narrow my eyes at him, the feeling of being trapped in a predator’s gaze intensifying. “What do you want, Carson?” I ask flatly.
He meets my gaze head-on. A cold smile plays on his lips. “I want my son to live with me. Full time.”
I jump to my feet so quickly that I sway, the breath catching in my throat. I turn to look at Carson. “No, you can’t take my son. He doesn’t even know you! I’m his mother, the only parent he’s ever known.”
Carson just gives me a hard smile, a glint of steel in his eyes. “He’s also my son. And the only reason he doesn’t know me is because you kept his existence a secret.” He calmly glances down at his Rolex and then back at me as if discussing the time and not threatening to rip my world apart.
“Carson, I know you can’t forgive me. But you can’t take Connor away.” I look up at him with an earnest expression, “Think of your son. You’d be hurting him. This isn’t you, Carson. You’re better than this.”
He rears his head back at my words, “Don’t presume that you know me, Anna. Eleven years is a long time. And I am considering my son. He came here to find me. He reached out to me. I’m sure a judge would take that under consideration...”
I feel helpless as my world seems to crumble around me. I feel like Carson’s enjoying his little cat-and-mouse game with me. I decide not to play along. I turn my back on him, walk over to the sofa and sit down.
I glance back at him over my shoulder, “You can try, Carson. I may not be as wealthy as you are, but I have resources. My husband left me a wealthy widow. If I have to fight this in court, I will.”
I notice his eyes turn to slits at the reminder of my late husband, but I don’t care. I won’t let him take away my son. “I’ll do whatever it takes to remain in my son’s life,” I state with a tilt of my chin, determination evident in every line of my body.
At his silence, I look up to see that he’s giving me a considering look.
“Whatever it takes, Anna?” He asks smoothly.
I frown up at him, “Yes, Carson, I will not give up my son.”
“Alright, then here’s my offer,” Carson declares, his voice containing a dangerous edge. “I want Connor with me. If you insist on being a part of his life, you’re welcome to move in with us.”
Heat colors my cheeks, mirroring the flare of anger in my eyes. This cannot be happening. Ten years, I’ve built a life with my son. A life I thought was secure. Yet, now, it’s being torn apart, and Carson seems to revel in his control over me. Panic builds inside me, but I force it down. I won’t let him see my fear.
“It’s an absurd proposal, a slap in the face disguised as a sympathetic offer,” I scoff, “It’s insane, Carson. Why would you even consider that?” I glare at him, “You can barely stand to look at me, let alone have me living under the same roof as you!”
“That’s beside the point, Anna. You make a valid argument. I wouldn’t want Connor to suffer by taking away his mother.”
He glances over at me with a casual shrug, “However, it’s up to you. You can take it or leave it.” With those parting words, Carson nods cooly, turns, and leaves the room, leaving me trembling with the unfairness of it all. He’s acting like my judge and jury all over again.
He wouldn’t let me explain; he doesn’t know the facts. He walked away eleven years ago with the same stubbornness he shows today. I should hate him for his arrogance, his judgment, and his absolute refusal to listen. It’s easier for him to think the worst of me.
I should hate him… but I don’t. I feel a pang of longing shoot through me as I remember the Carson I spent time with on the ship. He was… kind and thoughtful. His easygoing demeanor was very different from the man standing before me moments ago. The old Carson was willing to listen when I talked. That Carson was attracted to me, desired me. But that was before I hurt him.
He feels I betrayed him as well as my husband. There was a time when I would have shared the details of my marriage with Carson. Back then, I believe he would have understood, and he would have forgiven me. But he was stubborn and so full of self-righteousness. He could only see my actions in black and white, with no room for the gray areas that made up my life, my choices.
