Page 76 of Loving Smoke

I drew in a deep breath. Sounds fucked up but this was a big step for me. A step I’d never taken with another woman and definitely wanted to take with Marisol, but . . .

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, just . . . want you to know this means something to me. You mean something to me and—I want us to be just you and me.” I ran my tongue over my lower lip. “You okay with that?” I wasn’t exactly asking her to be my ol’ lady, but I definitely wanted to make some kind of a commitment. Fucked up that at thirty-five I’d never committed to a woman before but . . .

Shit, with all my speculating and thinking I didn’t realize she hadn’t said anything. Not a good sign.

“Look, just forget it.” I leaned away from her. “I got a lot of fuckin’ baggage, I’m much older than you, and—shit you could do way better than a busted up cage fighter for an outlaw MC.”

“Shut up.” She covered my lips with her forefinger. “I don’t want to use a condom and I would love to have something more serious with you. Actually, I’m pretty sure I love you, so unless that scares you away, I’m good.”

“Fuck,” I mumbled, then realized too late what slipped out of my mouth. “I mean, yeah.”

“I guess now it’s my turn to be insecure. I’m sure I’m not as experienced as the other women you’ve been with and I don’t want you to feel you have to say it just because I did.”

“Are you kidding me right now? You are everything I’ve wanted and I’m so fucked in the head I didn’t even know it. You bring out whatever good is inside me, and you even got me to talk about shit—which is amazing.”

“I still don’t want you under any pressure to feel the same way about me as I do about you.”

“No, no, it’s not that it’s—I’ve never said that word to anybody, but . . . I love you too.”

Once the words left my mouth I knew they were right. I’d never experienced such a consuming, overwhelming sensation and I knew it had to be love, because this woman became a part of me way before I even realized it.

Her smile widened. “Spoken like a true outlaw biker.”

This woman made me better and made me want to be better and I knew having her by my side all things were possible. The empty hole I’d lived with for most of my life filled with contentment and hope.

“An outlaw biker in love with his beautiful, headstrong woman.”

THE END