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It was tough to not cry, but I wanted to keep talking, make him see reason. He couldn’t lose.
“Did you know Aurora came to me to tell me how much she loves you?”
Christian moved closer, reaching an arm out to grab me, but I moved away from his touch easily. “Fiona, stop talking about this.”
“She’s determined to fight for you. She told me that she loved you, and she was going to go through therapy to fix her attitude.”
“I don’t care.”
Well, neither did Aurora because she most definitely didn’t say that to me, but if her character was the problem, then if she claimed that she would fix it, it should be enough for him. They could make a fine family, and I could deal with my hurt. Who knew I was going to advocate for Aurora after I told her that I wouldn’t help her.
“She really does love you, Christian, and your family loves her. If you get together with her, your mother is going to love her and -”
“What about me?” Christian asked, looking at me with sad eyes. He didn’t bother coming any closer to me. There were at least four steps between us, and I wished there weren’t any. “What about what I want? I want you, Fiona. Doesn’t that count for something?”
I bowed my head, embarrassed by my own thinking. I was supposed to be rooting for his own happiness, and here I was, determined to make him sad. I guess in that way, I wasn’t any different from Aurora. I might even be worse than her.
The entire time I was here, I knew how much he suffered trying to get her off his back. I knew how sad he was, how I had to offer my shoulders to him. And yet, I was willing to let him go simply because of his mother?
I let my shoulders fall, ashamed of myself. After spending all this time, pining over him, and hoping he would look my way, and when he did, I was about to walk away and leave him high and dry at the first sign of trouble.
“What are we going to do? I don’t want you to lose everything.”
Christian took a step towards me, tentatively, as if he was scared I would react like a cornered animal and attack. When I didn’t move back, he moved the rest of the way and wrapped his arms around me.
I brought my arms up to hug him back, and buried my face in his neck. The sob racked through me, and when I took a deep breath to calm myself, his cologne filled my lungs, but it wasn’t an unwelcome comfort.
“It’s not losing if I’m with you, Fiona,” Christian whispered, and I hugged him even tighter. “It seems scary, but it’s not that difficult. I wasn’t lying when I said I love you; I’m not just saying it to be funny. From the first time I saw you, I felt a type of peace that has always eluded me. It’s easy because it’s you.”
“I had a crush on you when we were kids,” I confessed, mostly because I didn’t want to be outdone in being the first to feel this affection we have between us.
Christian’s hand stopped rubbing my back, and he tried to pull me away from the hug so he could look at my face, but I clung tighter to him. My face, without a doubt, looked like a mess. And this wasn’t the time for me to be showing this part of myself to him.
His laugh filled the room, and filled me with warmth. I tried to not show how hard my heart was beating from having me this close to him or having his arms around me.
It was nearly enough for me to forget that we were still at work, and in a way, I did forget until there was a knock on the boardroom door.
Chapter Eighteen
Christian
Mason had managed to look worse than the last time I saw him. I kept my eyes on him as he made his way into the office. I knew I wouldn’t see Fiona because it looked like they had an unspoken agreement. When one person showed up, the other person tried to make themselves scarce.
He placed the file in his hand on my desk and offered me a smile. The most forced smile he has ever sent my way.
“Alright, what went wrong this time?”
Mason waved his hand in the air and sat opposite me. “That’s not important. I hear that your mother ‘caught’ you with Fiona.”
He made air quotes around the catch, and it made me tilt my head to the side. “Caught me?”
Mason nodded, “that’s what I hear. Do you know what you’re doing?”
“What do you mean?”
Mason shrugged. “With her?”
I looked over to where Fiona was sitting before the computer on her desk. She seemed engrossed with whatever she was doing, and I couldn’t help the smile on my lips.
