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Her cheeks go pink and she nods. “Thank you,” she says, her voice a whisper this time.
I can’t help but wonder if she’s ever been a priority in someone’s life, or if she’s always come last.
That thought bothers me and makes me want to show her that she should come first and be the center of someone’s universe.
“I’m interested in seeing you more,” I say.
She smiles, but her eyes are troubled. “I like you a lot, Charles. But I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Her kind voice takes the sting out of the words. I’m not about to hold her refusal against her, so I smile and nod.
“Have a good night,” I say, closing her door and stepping back to let her drive.
Chapter Thirteen
Alisha
As I step through the front door, the weight of the evening settles upon me like an invisible cloak made of thick, heavy metal, while the memories of our kiss and the taste of him on my lips still lingers.
I touch my fingers to my lips, stunned that they’re still tingling from his kiss. The mere thought is enough to bring all of that sensation and emotion flooding back like a tsunami.
If I close my eyes, I can remember every second of the kiss and the way time had slowed to a near standstill. The intoxicating taste of him, the possessive quality of his kiss, the way he seemed to take up all the space in the passenger seat even though I occupied the same space still clings to my thoughts. And that thing he'd done where he put his hand on the back of my neck... I shiver as I close the door behind me.
My mother's voice cuts through my busy thoughts, and I jerk my hand from my face, hoping she can’t interpret that gesture. “I'm surprised you came home tonight,” she says, a knowing wink accompanying her comment.
My cheeks overheat as I take off the necklace and set it on the little table by the front door.
“Did the date not go well?” I understand why she's prying; she no doubt wants to know everything that happened, but I'm not in the mood to talk about how things went.
I offer a feeble smile and a thumbs up in a half-hearted attempt to deflect her curiosity. Of course, I know that alone won't work, so instead I divert the conversation toward a different subject. “I made a new friend!” I know it's a flimsy attempt at best, but hopefully it's enough to steer her attention away from Charles, my date, and how the night went.
“I'm so glad you made a new friend, but I'm a lot more interested in hearing about how the date went.” Her eyes sparkle with mischief. There's no way she's going to let me get away without giving her some details.
I walk over and step aside from the couch, perching on the edge, very aware of my dress. “He’s a really nice guy.” I'm not sure what else I can safely say. My phone chimes and I more than welcome the interruption. I pull the device out of my clutch and check to see who messaged me, hoping that it's Charles.
To my surprise, the message is from Laurel. Thank you for coming to our party and for being amazing. Let’s get together soon!
My mom's expectant look makes me sigh. “It's not him. It's the new friend I was telling you about.”
“The fact that you don't want to talk about it tells me how important this is to you.” She pats my hand and I glance at her. “Just tell me you had a good time and I won't ask anything else.”
“I had a good time.” The completely honest words leave me, and I smile at the thought of Charles and Laurel. Then Methew crosses my mind and my joy fades. The thought of spending time with him on Saturday and telling him the truth that I've been hiding for years is not a pleasant one, and my stomach twists as if I'm about to throw up.
“I'll leave you be then, but if you want to talk, I'm here.” With that, she stands up and heads toward the front door, but turns at the last moment. “I'll be here bright and early in the morning. I love you and goodnight.”
I manage a smile and nod my head in thanks, my thoughts still centered on Methew. I don't want to think about him or the potential unpleasantness I’ll have to face on Saturday, so I try to shove him out of my thoughts as the door closes behind my mom.
Instead, I decide to focus on the things that bring me joy, and one of the biggest things that brings me joy is my daughter in the other room. With light feet I make my way into my bedroom and change out of the dress, leaving the beautiful garment spread out at the foot of my bed because I know I won’t be sleeping in here tonight.
Changing into my pajamas, I hurry up and brush my teeth, going through my nightly ritual before making my way toward my daughter's room. Her jellyfish night light illuminates the room, giving me just enough light to see as I make my way toward her bed.
The soft glow of moonlight cascading through the window reveals her peaceful face with soft curls framing her chubby cheeks. Once again, I'm struck by her impossibly long eyelashes, and I simply admire her for a few moments before climbing into bed beside her.
She twitches slightly, clearly lost to innocent dreams. I think about my delicate situation as a single mother longing for companionship, even though I've never wanted to date before. Now that Charles is in my life, I want to take that leap. But if I make that decision, will it jeopardize my job, my livelihood, the money that I'm making to support my daughter? What if he's unhappy to find out that I'm a single mother since I've been hiding the truth from him?
And what happens if our relationship goes terribly and he casts me aside, firing me in the process?
I don't want to think about the mad scramble to try to find another job so that I can afford to pay the bills. And there's no way I'd find another job that pays as well as he does. So I have to ask myself if the risk of things ending badly is worth the risk of losing the financial stability working as his cook offers.
I snuggle in closer to my daughter, her steady breathing lulling my body into a relaxed state as I begin to drift off.
