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Even now, I feel relief when I start articulating what’s on my mind. It’s really good to have a friend to talk to.
“Okay…” I balance my elbow on the rail and pull at the ends of my hair. “Hrm. Well, it started because of the photos. Like I told you in my text. Then, I guess we sort of hit it off. He’s got swagger. I knew that about him but knowing that about someone is different than experiencing it. I totally fell for it… the charm, his know-it-all attitude, his good looks…”
“Wait—he’s handsome?”
“Not just handsome, Lex. He’s gorgeous.”
“Ohh! Girl! I like where this is going.”
“That makes exactly one of us.”
“You deserve this. This is good for you. You’ve been such a hermit ever since the Derek Incident.”
This is another reason why I love Alexis. She’s willing to only refer to my horrible experience with Derek—the married dentist from my dad’s office—as the Derek Incident like I do.
Whenever that dating disaster comes up, we both tread carefully. A less awesome friend might be insensitive and blurt out something about how badly I got hurt. Alexis always tiptoes over the eggshells with me.
“I know, but the Derek Incident really messed with me. It’s going to take me a while to get over that.”
“It’s been three years, Hazel.”
“I-I know…”
“You can’t hide forever. You have to get out there. You are such a great person. Maybe this thing with Jack will just wiggle you out of your shell a bit.”
I watch the turtle poke out of the waters again in the shady cove. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“You’re saying he’s awful and terrible, all swagger, but there has to be more to the story than that. You’re not an idiot, Hazel. You are super smart, and you wouldn’t go for a jerk. He must be a nice guy on some level.”
A memory surfaces of how he cradled me in his strong arms. He laid me down so carefully. So gently.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know what’s going on. I wish you were here so you could meet him and give me a second opinion.”
“You don’t need me, honey. You just need to relax and have some fun with it. Quit worrying!”
I rub my forehead.
I wish I could quit worrying.
I’m not wired like Alexis. She seems to breeze through life, snatching up fun wherever she can. I love that about her, but I’ve never managed to emulate it.
I fret.
I stress.
I worry.
We chat a little more, mostly because she’s dying to know what he looks like. I promise to text her the photos I sent my mom. Then I paint a picture for her with words, and she gets a big kick out of my description.
“He sounds like a tall drink of water! You hit the jackpot. I can’t wait to hear how it goes. Promise to call me again soon. I gotta run before Melody tries another swing set flying experiment.”
“Flying experiment?”
She hangs up instead of answering, which is probably a good thing. I’ve seen Melody launch herself off the swing set in Alexis’ backyard before, and I’m glad Alexis hurried to intervene.
I slump over the railing again, my shoulders stooped.
Over in the shaded cove, the sea turtle has climbed onto a low, flat rock. I wander that way to get a better look. There’s a maintenance shed perched on the edge of the lagoon.
