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I will never be the same, thanks to seven days on that island. Given how life-changing the trip was, it feels very odd to be asked to reduce it all to a few sentences. Even more strange is that right now, I can’t even really grasp the truth of what happened in Honolulu.
Did that magic—with Jack—even happen?
My mouth feels parched, but now’s no time to reach for my coffee cup. I’m supposed to speak.
I feel Jack’s eyes on me, somehow cutting through the virtual setting.
“I—er—okay… hm. A little tough to do this, but I’ll try. We, um, both won this work trip. We met at the resort in person for the first time ever… under funny circumstances. Anyway, we didn’t even realize we were coworkers at first. We went out to dinner a couple of times…”
“Mm hm, okay, dinner…” Raymond’s pen wiggles at a fast rate. “I’m trying to look at this from your point of view, as well as from the positions of your employers. You’re bringing up dinner, which I understand. But the issue with dinner would be any physical contact that occurred before, during, or after your meals out.”
“Um…”
I told myself I’d be as honest as possible.
I’m not up for telling a bald-faced lie with the stakes this big. “I suppose… well, we did kiss on several occasions.”
“Any physical intimacy beyond that?” His pen keeps moving as he jots notes.
Jack jumps in. “No, sir.”
Thank you, Jack.
I hate sitting here talking about this sensitive stuff with a stranger.
Raymond echoes my thoughts. “Thank you, Jack.”
Jack nods. “Sure thing, bud. Hey, I’d like to add my two cents.” His warm eyes search the screen… like he’s trying to connect with me.
That’s tough to do now that we’re reduced to pixels.
He rubs his chin. “So, yeah, Hazel and I might have had a few kisses, but that was it. As for this ‘consensual romantic’ stuff, that sounds way too serious for what went on.”
He pauses, and I see his Adam’s Apple dip down as he gulps. He hates lying under these circumstances as much as I do.
But he’s doing it, so I don’t have to.
“It was all just no big deal,” he mutters, his voice strained. “We didn’t… uh… form some deep—ah hem, sorry, really dry here—some deep love connection or anything. Nothing that’s going to mess with our work. We’re back to how it was before, no hard feelings, no big deal. We’re moving on.”
Raymond nods. He’s jotting down more notes. “So, I’m hearing limited contact. Great. And there’s no lasting relationship between you both. Is that correct?”
“It’s over,” Jack says.
Hearing his deep voice pronounce those words sends a chill down my spine.
It’s over.
Is it?
What happened in Hawaii was life-changing for me.
It was a gift.
Maybe I’m meant to accept the gift for what it was: nourishing water on the cracked, dry earth that was my life. Now, newness can spring up.
When water rains down from the heavens, you don’t try to hold it in your hands forever. It’s impossible to do that.
Am I trying too hard to hold onto what I had with Jack?
