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He shrugged. "My dad was a good man and a great cop. I'm proud to be like him."
She cocked her head. "But…"
He smiled. "You weren't supposed to notice the 'but.'"
"I'm a wedding planner. I have supersonic empathy skills. What's your but?"
He took a breath. "I don't want to go back to work," he admitted. "I don't know what's holding me back, but it's like this vise that's been around my chest for years. It's my world. My life.What I love. But I don't want to put on the badge again, and I don't know why." He was absolutely fuckinglost,and this was the first time he'd admitted it aloud. "I thought I would be ready when it was time, but I'm going in on Friday, and I don't fucking want to."
He felt raw and restless, but he didn't want to go for a run or sweat it out. He wanted to sit there with Piper, not hide in sweat and physical stress anymore.
"Oh…" She sat back. "That's not good to carry a gun and a badge if your heart's not in it."
"Nope. People die."
She cleared her throat. "So, maybe build stuff, then."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Then my mom would win. I can't let her win. It's a pride thing. I do my best to make all my major life decisions based on ego."
Piper looked at him sharply, and then started laughing. "You know, I did have you pegged for an ego guy."
"No other way to live."
"Exactly." She put her water bottle on its side and rolled it toward him. "I don't talk about my family," she said. "Ever."
He caught the bottle and rolled it back to her. "I don't talk about my feelings, so I get it."
She put her hand on the bottle, and then pushed it back toward him. "It felt good to have you here when I was upset," she said. "Thanks."
He caught the bottle and flung it a little harder toward her, a little game that was a good distraction for both of them. "You're welcome. I'm still undecided how I feel about the fact I told you I don't want to go back to work. If I decide I'm good with it, then I'll circle back and thank you for drawing that out of my reluctant man-cave of emotional isolation. If not, then I'll probably pretend it never happened."
She burst out laughing and caught the water bottle. "Eitherway is fine." She shoved the water bottle at him, and it skidded off the counter.
They both lunged for it, and their heads cracked against each other.
"Ow!" Piper tumbled off the stool, and Declan grabbed her.
He caught her arm, slowing her before she hit the floor, but lost his balance in the process. He landed on the tile beside her, grunting at the impact of his knee on the tile.
Piper rolled onto her back, laughing as she held her forehead. "Your skull is a deadly weapon," she groaned. "Holy crap. That hurt so much."
His head was throbbing too, but he ignored it. "Sorry." He grimaced as he propped himself up on his elbow. "Let me check. I'm a certified EMT. I can stitch it up for you."
"Yes, please. Without numbing it." She moved her hand out of the way. "Am I going to die?"
He leaned over, peering at the red mark on her forehead. "Not from that."
"Stitches?"
He ran his finger over the mark. "There's no cut, but I could put stitches in anyway. Just for fun."
"Oh, yes, please, do. That would be great."
"You bet." He paused. "The proper treatment might be a kiss. It's a proven effective treatment for booboos."
