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“It reminded me of Killian. How when we first went on tour, he would have these terrible nightmares that would wake up the entire bus. He would scream so loud that I thought someone was trying to hurt him.” He took a shaky breath before he glanced over at me. “I thought it was because of his parent’s car accident, and sometimes it was, but other times it was about Matty. He was so broken up inside about him. He tried...” Blake shook his head. “Dean found Killian in the bathroom one night after he tried to kill himself. He was too big to move alone, so Dean came to get me, and we had to get him to the hospital. It was the most horrible thing I had ever seen, worse than my mother. There was so much blood. It was everywhere. I thought... I thought he was going to die that night.”
I draped my heavy body over his. “Jesus Christ.”
“He denied it at first, but we knew. Mav was in bad shape back then, going through his own shit. I felt like I was babysitting all three of them while trying to hold myself together.” Blake dragged his fingers through my hair, and I bit back a groan. “Imagine if we all talked to one another. At least we got our shit figured out now. Well, Dean’s still a bit aloof, but he talks to his brother again, which is a plus.”
A sob suddenly burst from my throat, and I buried my face in Blake’s neck as I cried. I was the reason he had suffered the way he had, and I had never wanted that for him. I only wanted Blake to be happy. I thought that getting his mother the help she needed would make him happy, but instead it ruined everything. He sounded miserable. Just like me.
“Hey, what’s this about?”
He tried to tip my head up, but I wouldn’t let him. Blake rubbed circles into my back, and I began to calm down. I inhaled his familiar scent, felt the warmth of skin against mine, and when my cock thickened between my legs, I had to fight the urge to rub myself against him. I couldn’t go there with him. Not again, not ever. I wasn’t good for Blake anymore. I would only end up hurting him.
“I’m sorry.”
“You said that already. Why?”
I started to untangle myself from Blake’s arms so I could climb from the bed. “Making you fall in love with me. Lying to you. Not telling you about the accident. Waking you up tonight.”
“Hate to break it to you, Gretzky, but I was already in love with you before that day at the pool.” I spun around to stare at him. “Yeah, totally in love with you. I was just waiting for you to realize you felt the same way and do something about it.”
My mouth was hanging open. “Me? Why couldn’t you?”
“You were the gay one, not me. The expert with the same sex. I had no idea what I was doing when you attacked me.” Blake chuckled as he dragged a hand over the top of his head. “I mean, kissing you, that was fucking amazing, but everything else? I needed you to make sure I was doing it right.”
My dick twitched in my sweats at the memory of the first time Blake went down on me. “You were good at it.”
“You taught me well.” He blushed and ducked his head.
I moved closer to the bed. “What?” I gripped his jaw to force him to look back at me. “Have you sucked someone else’s dick, Bug?”
His ears turned bright red. The thought made me want to burn down the world, but he was free to touch whomever he wanted. I had made sure of that.
“No,” he murmured as his eyes moved over my body. “Just yours, Tommy.”
“You want to do it again? Maybe tonight?”
He nodded, and I was on him in seconds.
Chapter Seven
Blake
Five Years Ago
I hadn’t had someone else wash my hair since I was a child, but the moment Tommy’s hands dug into my locks, I let out a low groan. It was absolute heaven having him touch me. I closed my eyes and let the feeling take over my body while my dick throbbed between my legs and precum leaked from the tip. Tommy loved me.
“You like that, don’t you, Bug?” Tommy murmured into my ear, his teeth grazing the soft lobe lightly.
I nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I like it.” I reached back to grip his hips. “You’re good with your hands.”
“Am I?” He chuckled softly, then his length pressed against me.
Shit, did he want to fuck me? I would let him if he asked. I would let Tommy do anything he wanted to me. I loved him and trusted him more than anyone.
“You still with me, Bug?”
Oops, I think I might have blacked out for a second.
“I’m here,” I assured him.
