AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Minutes tick by—or maybe it's seconds; time blurs when you're trying to piece yourself back together. A deep breath, then another. Leaving the stall, I get a look at myself in the mirror and see I look as awful as I feel.
I swipe at my eyes, refusing to let them betray me any further. Fixing my makeup with practiced hands, I transform the evidence of my broken heart into something resembling composure.
“Get it together,” I say to my reflection before stepping out of the bathroom.
The night is in full swing, with people pouring in the door. I slide behind the bar, the familiar motions of pouring and mixing drinks offering a semblance of normalcy. Then Walker is there, his presence tugging at me like two magnets pulling together.
“Is everything okay?” His voice is a low rumble, his usually unreadable features betraying his worry.
His elbow brushes against mine, an innocent touch that sends unexpected heat spiraling through me. My breath catches in my throat, trapped by the sudden intensity of his gaze.
“I'll be okay,” I whisper after a second too long, hoping my voice doesn't tremble as much as my insides.
“Let me know if you need anything.” His words are simple, but they wrap around me like my favorite warm blanket, offering a comfort I didn’t expect from him.
“Thanks.” I manage a small smile, grateful that he’s here.
With renewed determination, I turn back to the customers, pouring their poisons with a steadier hand. Each drink I make puts more distance between me and my past. Each nod of satisfaction from Walker, a tiny stitch mending the tear in my world.
And when the bar is empty and all the closing tasks are done, I’m left wondering how I made it through without being fired. Maybe I do have a little luck, after all. I doubt it, but maybe. As I make my way to my old beater of a car, my phone rings. I wave to Liam, who nods at me. I catch sight of Walker, who’s making sure I get to my vehicle safely. Our eyes meet and warmth fills my chest, spreading into my stomach and up my neck and face.
*
The sterile glow of my desk lamp washes over the scattered textbooks and papers, each equation a blurry maze of numbers and symbols that I just can’t figure out. I shift on the bed, drawing my knees up to support the heavy textbook of advanced calculus, my fingers tracing the questions as if they hold the key to more than just passing grades.
“Focus.” I command myself, pushing aside the image of Chase taking that girl into a room, his hand at her lower back, the memory clouding my concentration.
And as I push him away, the problems start to make sense. And I begin to trust myself. Every answer typed into the test on my laptop feels like another brick in the fortress I'm rebuilding around my heart. I am not the broken girl he left behind.
“His betrayal will not define me or my worth,” I whisper into the silence of my room. What he did… that’s on him. What I do… that’s on me. And I’m going to succeed.
And when I finally complete the test, I feel a spark of pride. I've conquered this test tonight; Tomorrow, I can work on conquering the pain within.
The shower welcomes me with a scalding cascading of water, drowning out the world. After adjusting the temperature, I lower my body to the ceramic tub, the warmth washing away the facade I've upheld all day. Here, in this steamy space, I'm not the bartender or the student—I'm just me, raw and unguarded.
Tears blend with water, indistinguishable on my face, as I wrap my arms around my shins. My chin rests on my knees, and I let it all out—the hurt, the betrayal, the anger. The droplets pelt my back and head, the warmth soothing some of my aches. I wish it could wash it all away.
“I’m strong enough to get through this,” I whisper to myself.
And it's true. Chase's cheating was a crushing blow, but he didn’t break me. It's his shame to bear, his mistake that marked the end of us—not mine. I was a good girlfriend.
I cling to the flicker of relief in the ocean of agony inside; at least I hadn't given him everything. No, I’d been careful not to sleep with him, and now, I’m glad I didn’t. I’d be so much more upset if I waited, then gave myself to him, only to have him cheat then.
“Maybe other guys will cheat,” I whisper, my throat feeling like I’ve swallowed shards of broken glass, “but not all men are like him.”
And as the water slowly turns lukewarm, a chill creeps in, and I rise. I stand tall, the remnants of my breakdown spiraling down the drain. I flinch as my ribs ache, but I try to ignore the pain
“It’s time to move on. I’m done wasting time, tears, or emotion on him,” I say to my reflection, my eyes red but the set of my jaw is resolute. The mirror is foggy, but the determination in my expression is unmistakable.
I'll face tomorrow – and every day that follows - head-on, because no matter what, I refuse to let Chase—or anyone—determine my worth.
The sheets are cool against my skin, but I still somehow feel sweaty and uncomfortable. I toss and turn, unable to find a position that eases the tightness in my chest and doesn’t hurt. My mind refuses to let go of Walker's image and the other moment from tonight that I’d shoved into the back of my thoughts in an effort to not smile. The way his jaw clenched when he issued that command to Cara, his authority absolute, sends an involuntary shiver down my spine.
“Pull your weight, Cara,” he had said, his voice firm but not unkind. “No one gets by on just charm here.”
She looked like he’d slapped her. Her mouth snapped shut, her flirtatious act crumbling under his gaze. I couldn't help the flash of guilty pleasure at seeing her taken down a notch.
I roll onto my back, staring into the darkness. My thoughts drift to Walker's unexpected softness when our eyes met. There's something there, a depth I haven't seen in anyone else. It's as if he sees through the chaos of the bar, through the front I've built, right to the core of me.
