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She shrugged. “Call it whatever you want. I was burned. Badly. He was older. A man, not a college boy. And he was gorgeous and I loved him madly. I knew he was a flirt but he always made me feel like I was the only one he loved. I never questioned him. Any red flags—and there were a bunch—I ignored. God, I was so naive.”
“What happened?”
“He died.”
“I’m sorry, Damaris.”
“Don’t be. I hope he’s roasting in hell.” She got up and paced the room. “It was unexpected. He had a heart condition he knew about but he lived like nothing was wrong. It caught up with him. So he died.”
Nate waited. At least this explanation had taken away some of the more grisly scenarios he’d imagined. But what could be so devastating? Obviously, it must have something to do with the phony name.
“He was a business mogul. His company—the one he owned—sold containers. He traveled all over the country for the job. I usually heard from him once or even twice a week if I didn’t see him. But I hadn’t talked to him for a while. Just when I was really getting worried the story hit the news. I saw his picture. But instead of Weldon Jenson the news articles said his name was Warner Jarrett.
“His company sold shipping containers. He’d made a fortune doing it. A reporter managed to find out that along with two wives and two families, he had God knows how many girlfriends. So many identities you had to wonder how he kept them all straight. All that was splashed all over the news. And the tabloids, of course.”
“It must have hurt even worse to find out the way you did.”
“I think it would have been just as bad however I found out. I went to the funeral. I don’t know why. I think maybe in the back of my mind I hoped it wasn’t him. Hoped there’d been some mistake. I couldn’t get in. It was closed to the public. But there were a lot of people waiting outside the funeral home for the service to be over. Mostly his women. I talked to some of them. Enough to know it really was him and that they were as shocked as I’d been. But the thing that really got to me—” She broke off and dashed away tears. “I haven’t cried over this bastard since it happened.”
“You’ve never told anyone but Jaclyn, though. Not even your family?”
She gave a humorless laugh. “Are you kidding? You know my brothers. They’d have wrapped me in cotton and never let me out of their sight. They’d have pitied me, and I couldn’t have stood that.” She sat on the couch.
No, he couldn’t see his tough cowgirl putting up with being an object of pity. Damaris was far too strong for that. “What was it that really got to you?”
“His kids. Four of them. Two with each wife. All of them were there, along with both widows. I was shocked that both were there, but the two women had obviously come to some kind of understanding. But the children looked so…so lost and bewildered. Like they couldn’t believe this man they’d loved was gone, and they couldn’t understand what was happening. The bastard was not only gone, but he’d betrayed all of them every single day.”
“How in the hell did he get away with all that?”
“I’ve asked myself that question a thousand times. He traveled a lot. I thought he was working. I’m sure we all thought that. You know, he was doing whatever a business mogul does. He was damn good-looking, charming, and like I said, he had an ability to make you think you were the only woman in the world for him.”
Moving closer to her, he covered one of her hands with his. “I’m so damn sorry, Damaris. Sorry you had to go through it all again too. I guess it’s no surprise this made you not trust men.”
“To say the least.” She pulled her hand away. “I have a problem with players. But I admit, Chase was a player until he met Ella, and they’re really happy now. Ella’s not about to put up with an unfaithful man, either.”
“You’re telling me this because you still think I’m a player.”
“Aren’t you?”
“No, and you should damn well know that. I never lied to a woman. Otherwise why set me up with your friends? They always knew where I was coming from and that we were exclusive as long as we were together.”
“Which was never for long.”
So much for understanding. She was determined to think the worst of him. He shrugged. “Yeah, so? There’s a big difference between not settling down and being a freaking bigamist and a serial cheater like that scum was.”
*
“Of course there’s a difference,” Damaris said impatiently. “You aren’t a terrible person like he was. I thought—I thought if you found the right woman you’d settle down. I thought it would be better for both of us if you found someone else to settle down with. But that isn’t the point.”
“Gee, thanks,” he drawled, sarcasm dripping from his words. “So what is the point?”
“The point is you lied to me. How can I trust anything about the two of us when I know everything about our relationship has been based on a lie?”
“Oh, bullshit. Damaris, that’s just flat wrong. Our friendship isn’t a lie. The fact that we know each other and can depend on each other isn’t a lie.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Hell, Damaris, I tried everything I could think of to either get over you or get you to see me as something more than your good buddy. When you shot me down, at first I went a little crazy. Slept with a bunch of women, drank a lot when I wasn’t working, anything to get you out of my mind. All of which built up my ‘reputation.’ None of it worked. And nothing I did convinced you to give us a chance. So I tried to accept that all we’d ever be was friends. That didn’t work either. Every woman I ever dated paled in comparison to you. Finally, I decided if I couldn’t have you, then I didn’t want anyone. And that’s where I’ve been for nearly a year.
