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“Because it wasn’t in my interests to do so.”
She shook her head as her heart broke into a thousand pieces. “Not in your interests? In what way?”
Someone walked by. “Come, let’s find somewhere more private to speak.”
Sarah could no more have protested than stopped breathing. She was desperate for him to tell her something which would make sense of his betrayal, something—anything—which would allow her to continue to love him and to be with him. So, stunned, she allowed herself to be guided into an ante room—a place where people waited, an in-between place. It seemed appropriate.
“Take a seat, Sarah,” he said, pointing to one of the ornate, uncomfortable looking chairs. “You look as if a puff of wind will blow you over.”
He went and poured a glass of water for her and brought it over. Automatically she took it, but immediately placed it on the table and turned to look up at him.
“I repeat, Kadar. In what way was it in your interests not to tell me who my family were, and where I could find them? What way?”
His expression did nothing to lessen her sense of dread.
“Your family is my enemy, Sarah.”
“That much I know. But, even so, why would you not tell me about them? Kadar! There’s only ever been me and my grandfather, and now he’s gone. I’m all alone and want to find my family. And, apparently, they’ve been here all this time only you’ve not told me. And I want to know why!”
“Because of something it appears you don’t know. Your family is not only the Al-Barraq family, but you are also the sole surviving child of their foremost family. You are, Sarah, someone who could lead them, someone who could make them strong again.”
“And you don’t want that.”
“No, we don’t want that.”
“So it wasn’t only you.”
He shook his head. “No, me and my vizier. We decided it was best that you remain in ignorance of the facts until…” His voice faded out and he looked away as if unable to continue.
“Until what?”
“Until you agree to marry me.”
Her mouth dropped open as the last turn of the key unlocked the whole truth. “Because only then would the threat to your rule be neutralized. That’s it, isn’t it?”
He gave one brief nod, which changed her world.
“I was the person you were talking about. The woman you were going to marry. The woman who would sort out your political troubles.”
He nodded.
“And all the while, I thought you’d been lying to me.”
“I hadn’t. I love you. I’ve never lied to you about that.”
“No, but you’ve lied to me by not telling me the whole truth. A lie by omission. It’s almost worse.” She jumped up, suddenly unable to face him any longer, face the truth about their relationship—they didn’t have one. Because how can you have a relationship with someone who has used you? “I must go.”
“I’m sorry, Sarah. I’m truly sorry.”
“Before I go, I would like to know one thing.” She prayed her voice wouldn’t break. “Please tell me you didn’t know all along. Please, tell me that it was your vizier’s idea. Please tell me something—anything—which will allow me to believe that you didn’t use me. Please.”
“I can’t.” He stepped back. “I wish I could. I knew who you were the moment you told me your name. Your eyes, the shape of your face and nose, and your name, they all told me who you were. When you said you were looking for your family, I knew instantly. Your grandfather’s name confirmed it.”
“And yet you said nothing.”
“And yet I said nothing. I’m sorry, Sarah. I’m truly sorry. I didn’t want you to find out this way.”
“Then how did you want me to find out? Hey?” She was angry now, and prodded him on the chest. “How the hell did you intend to tell me, if you ever were?”
