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I nod, understanding his fear but also seeing how it could easily spiral. "You’re being a bit paranoid, Julian," I say, my voice soft but firm. "Aria is safe. She just wants to hang out with her daddy, that's all."
The word paranoid seems to strike a chord, and I watch as Julian closes off further, his face cold, posture stiffening. "Maybe," he admits grudgingly, but the acknowledgment is hollow, his tone suggesting he’s far from convinced but trying to avoid another fight.
Realizing I might have pushed too hard, I reach out, touching his arm. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to?—"
But it's too late. Julian gently but firmly moves away from my touch, a clear sign he’s withdrawing into himself. "It’s fine, Natalie. I just want to do what’s best for Aria."
As he turns away to tend to Aria, who has now distracted herself with her drawings, I’m left standing alone, feeling the distance between us grow one again.
The warmth that had cocooned us in a brief sanctuary of affection seems distant now, as Julian's protective instincts rebuild the walls I thought we were slowly dismantling. My heart is heavy with the secret I carry, the knowledge of my pregnancy pressing against the seams of my resolve. How can I share something of this magnitude with him when the foundation between us still feels so uncertain?
With the absolute worst timing, I'm hit by another massive wave of nausea. Quietly, I excuse myself to the bathroom, trying not to be obvious in my rush. I lean against the sink, taking deep, steadying breaths. My stomach churns in time with my rising panic about our future, each egging the other on. I need to calm down, I don't want to be sick in Julian's home.
Just as the nausea begins to recede, a soft knock sounds on the door. "Natalie?” Aria's voice, laced with concern, pierces the quiet. “Do you need some more toilet paper?”
An involuntary smile tugs at my lips, "Thanks, Aria, but I'm okay. Just needed a little break, you know?"
"Okay,” she offers, totally unbothered by the fact we're talking through a bathroom door. “Do you want to color with me when you come out? I saved you the best crayon!" Her offer, so innocently made, tugs at my heart.
"That sounds perfect, Aria. I’ll be out in just a minute, and I can't wait to see what colors you’ve chosen for us," I reply, my voice warmer now, touched by her kindness and the simple, unguarded way children can bring light into complex situations.
As I splash water on my face and look up into the mirror, I see a woman caught on the brink of monumental change. Julian's concerns for Aria's safety, his guarded nature, his inherent need to protect—how will he react to knowing he’ll soon have another child to worry about? The thought both scares and excites me. It's always the unknown that's most terrifying in situations like these.
Stepping out of the bathroom, I find my resolve strengthened by Aria's cheerful invitation. I try to focus on the present—the coloring, the laughter, the shared moments that build the bonds we'll need to face whatever comes next. As I sit down next to Aria and accept the crayon she’s saved for me, I catch Julian's eye. There's a softness there; an unspoken apology, a reminder of the connection that still exists beneath the surface tensions.
"We'll figure this out, Julian," I say quietly, more to affirm my own commitment than to reassure him. "We have to take things one step at a time."
He nods, the lines of his face relaxing slightly. "One step at a time," he echoes, his voice low but not without warmth.
As we color, the simple act serving as a temporary bridge over troubled waters, I know that I can’t keep my secret much longer. The guilt of keeping my pregnancy hidden weighs heavier with each passing day. The time will come soon when I'll need to share my news with Julian, whether I’m ready or not.
When that moment arrives, I hope the foundation we are slowly rebuilding will be strong enough to support us all.
CHAPTER 27
JULIAN
After a long morning—with more whining than usual—Aria finally agrees to let me head to work while her usual sitter watches her.
I’m grateful, because Jack suggested meeting up for lunch today, and that feels like a much needed reprieve from the constant tension that's been shadowing me. I have just enough time to meet up with him before heading to the job site for the afternoon.
As I navigate the familiar streets, I try unsuccessfully to shake off the perpetual state of alert that's become my new normal. The reality is, until the situation is settled—until I know for certain that there's no longer any threat to Aria and Natalie—I’m not going to be able to relax. I know it's an obsession, a part of me that doesn't work right anymore. But that doesn't make it any easier to let go of.
I meet Jack at our old spot, the diner where I ran into Natalie the night she moved back into town. It's quiet and out of the way, giving us the privacy needed for potentially heavy conversations. He’s already seated when I arrive, and his expression shifts from casual waiting to concern as he takes in my appearance.
"You look like you haven’t slept in a week. Everything alright?" Jack asks as I slide into the booth opposite him.
I force a smile, one that feels more weary than reassuring. "Yeah, just the usual circus. Aria’s home sick, and I’m out here trying not to think of a million things that could go wrong," I admit, running a hand through my hair in frustration.
Jack’s brow furrows. "It’s that bad, huh? I mean, I know the situation with Mason’s been tough, but you seem more on edge than usual."
"It’s not just Mason," I confess, leaning back in the booth and glancing out the window momentarily as if expecting to see a problem manifest right there. "It’s everything. Even with Aria at home, where I know she’s safe with the sitter... I can’t shake this feeling of dread. It’s like I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop."
Jack nods, contemplating quietly. "I get what you mean. You can’t live like that, man. It’s not sustainable. You've got to find a way to trust a little—trust the people taking care of her, trust that you’ve taken the right precautions."
"I know, I know," I reply, dragging my hands down my face. "It’s just hard to switch off. The police are useless, so I can’t trust them to keep Aria or Natalie safe—Shit, Natalie.” I struggle to catch my breath, my thoughts battling each other for attention. “Every time I see Nat—or even just think about her—I’m reminded of what I stand to lose if I don’t keep my guard up. And Nat... I can tell something's bothering her, but she’s trying to handle it without adding to my stress."
“Can you blame her?” Julian asks gently. “She cares about you and Aria a lot. The last thing she would want to do is be a burden to you.”
