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"This can’t keep happening, Nat," I say, the statement paining me even as it forms.
Her expression falters, brows knitting. "Why? What’s wrong?"
I wipe the gathered raindrops from my forehead, struggling to articulate the emotions tumbling inside me. "I have Aria to think about," I start, my voice firm despite the ache in my heart. "She’s my world, and I can’t... I can’t give you whatever it is you’re looking for."
The admission hangs heavy in the air, a barrier thrown up in defense against potential heartache. Natalie steps back, her hand falling away from mine, and I feel the loss keenly, the absence of her warmth making my pulse thud.
"I understand," she says after a long pause, her voice steady but her eyes pointedly avoiding mine. "Let’s just forget this ever happened."
“I think that’s for the best.” The words are like acid in my mouth and my stomach twists at the taste.
It's me that walks away first, clinging desperately to my unstable resolve. I know too well how each of my relationships ended; devastating heartbreak that would have been avoided if I was enough. Enough to provide Natalie the world she deserved, or enough to keep Tara by my side.
Being with Natalie now, as enticing as that is, risks not just my own peace, but the stability I've promised to Aria. It's one thing if I'm left heartbroken, but I'll never allow Aria to go through that again. She's my priority, the one constant in my life that guides all my decisions, and I cannot risk her wellbeing for a potential romance.
Even if it is Nat.
Opening the car door gently, I find Aria half-asleep under the dim overhead light. I reach for the blanket folded in the backseat and drape it over her, tucking it around her small form. Her eyes flutter open, a sleepy confusion crossing her face as she adjusts to being half-awake.
"Was that Natalie?" she mumbles, her voice groggy with sleep.
"Yes, it was," I reply, smoothing her hair back from her forehead, mesmerized as always by my girl’s intuition.
Aria yawns, snuggling deeper under the blanket. "She’s pretty," she whispers simply, matter of fact.
I chuckle softly, the sound brief and resigned. "Yes, she is."
With a final check to ensure Aria is comfortable, I close the door gently and walk around to the driver's side. Slipping into the seat, I take a moment before starting the car, the silence heavy and comforting. The key turns, the engine hums to life, and the soft sound of Aria's steady breathing provides a counterpoint to the turmoil that churns inside me.
As I glance up, preparing to pull away from the curb, my eyes inadvertently catch sight of Natalie. She's speaking with a police officer, her figure illuminated by the harsh glare of the streetlight. Her posture is professional, her attention focused on the task at hand.
She doesn’t look my way. There’s a finality in her focus, a closure that I hadn't fully expected to feel so sharply. Watching her, a pang of pure loss tugs at my heart, but I recognize the necessity of the boundary I’ve enforced.
With a deep breath, I shift the car into drive, pulling away from the scene. The distance between Natalie and me grows as the road stretches on and I head home. Aria sleeps peacefully in the backseat, blissfully unaware of the depth of my experience tonight. And I pray, for her sake, that I can keep it that way.
CHAPTER 11
NATALIE
The next morning, as I approach the Langford Building, the sight of police tape stark against the old stone structure sinks my heart all over again. It's a visual confirmation of the chaos from last night, a harsh reminder that today, no progress will be made. The building stands silent, its future halted by crime tape and the lingering presence of officers finishing up their reports.
Pulling out my phone, I dial Jack's number, needing to hear a familiar voice, needing someone who understands without needing every detail spelled out. He picks up almost immediately, his voice heavy with concern.
"Hey, Nat. How are you holding up?" Jack's words are gentle, his role as my protector never waning.
I sigh, leaning against my car as I look at the sealed off entrance. “Well, I'm at the building today even though no one can get inside until the police finish up.” I laugh at myself and just how telling my actions are. “Everything has felt like one step forward and two steps back."
Jack's sympathetic grunt comes through the line. "I'm sorry, kid. That’s rough.” There's a pause as neither of us really knows what to say next. Then Jack continues, “But hey, I’m sure everything will work itself out."
I sigh as I continue staring at the building. It's like looking in a mirror—a big, fat reminder of what an absolute wreck my life has become. "Yeah, I hope so. It’s just… there’s so much going on, you know? With moving, the Langford Building, and Julian..."
Oh shit.
Jack clears his throat. “What about Julian?”
Shit, shit, shit. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.
I'm scrambling, hastily trying to present the situation in some way that won't send Jack on a potentially murderous tirade. “I—We…kissed last night. It was just a moment of weakness. It’s over now," I say, though it’s more to convince myself than Jack.
