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Covering her mother’s hand, she drew it away from her cheek. “On that note, I’m going to take a shower.”
“And I’ll start the crispy chicken salads and breadsticks.”
“Yum. See you in a bit.”
In her bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. The circles under her eyes had dug in and didn’t seem to want to leave anytime soon. If she could get one good night’s sleep, maybe she’d get the edge on them. But every time she lay down in bed, she remembered the other bed. In the adorable A-frame nestled in the Colorado mountains. With a man who energized her both mentally and physically.
God, she needed to get past this. Get a new job, move on with her life.
She climbed in the shower and let the warm spray wash away the guilt, the pain, everything. Imagined it all going down the drain. She got out of the shower and dried off and looked at herself in the mirror as all the negative thoughts came tumbling back.
A new job. That’s what she needed to focus on, except she didn’t want a new job. She wanted her old one. And she wanted Gerard. Still.
She was a basket case in every sense of the word. Throwing on some clothes and her best I’ll be fine face, she joined her mother.
Over dinner, they talked about jogging, the weather, even politics, which they thankfully agreed on for the most part. Rowan tidied up while her mother sipped a cup of coffee.
“You aren’t a quitter.”
Rowan gripped the edge of her farmhouse sink as Rose’s words speared her through the heart. “Geesh, Mom, don’t mince words.”
“I’m only saying what I see and what you’ve thought. You shouldn’t have quit Barrett.”
Those same words had been stuck in her brain ever since she left. “How can I work there when he—he doesn’t trust me. He was going to fire me anyhow.”
“You don’t know that.”
Rowan turned around and leaned against the sink, drying her hands. “It was made pretty clear.”
“Then fight. For your job. For him.”
Sinking into the chair next to her mother, Rowan’s fingers danced around the edges of the towel. “I’ve thought about this a lot.” She looked up at her mother, having lowered her guard enough to allow her mother a glimpse of her pain. “I—I don’t think I have the energy for this. I’m wiped out in every way. And I’m not sure if I did dispute Gerard’s beliefs about me, and he shot me down again, that I’d ever get over it. Besides, it’s too late. That department needs a manager day in and out. I’m sure someone’s been hired. And Gerard made his feelings quite clear.”
Rose took the towel from Rowan and cupped her hands between her own. “You don’t give yourself enough credit for strength, daughter. And you will never know what’s possible if you don’t try. Do you want to live your life always wondering about what ifs?”
“Not really.” A spark, centered in the vicinity of her heart, jolted her. A spark of hope. Could she do this? Walk into Barrett Investment and fight for herself? Gerard thought the worst of her. When the going got rough, he didn’t believe in her enough to even hear her out. The spark within her died again. That was why she’d told Emersyn to make it seem the research came from her. She didn’t think he would’ve listened otherwise.
Rose released her hands and sat back for a long moment before speaking again. “Have you heard Murdoch Financial is in trouble?”
Grateful for the change of subject, she got up and poured herself a cup of coffee, holding the carafe out to her mother who put a hand over her own cup. It gave Rowan a moment to think about her answer.
“I heard they’ve been having some issues. Nothing worse than what Barrett’s been going through, except Murdochs are self-made, in my opinion.” She glanced at her mother. “Sorry. I know Finn’s the primary decision-maker there these days.”
“Yes, he is, and his choices have not been good ones of late.”
Rowan sat back down at the table, chewing her lip, trying to decide how honest she should be.
“Don’t mince words. I value your opinion. And my son is turning into the same kind of ass his father is.” She grimaced. “I should have pulled him out of that company long ago, and that’s on me. Is there any chance Finn had something to do with the Barrett Investment Group issues?”
“I didn’t find any ties to Finn. Besides, if we prove that Finn is involved, it will decimate Murdoch Financial. I don’t think I can do that, even for my own future.”
“You let me worry about Murdoch Financial. What’s your gut telling you? Be honest.”
Her mother and father had been divorced for years. Rowan didn’t think Rose had any sway in that company, so what did she mean?
She sipped her now cold coffee. “You know that Silverman is behind the attempted coup at Barrett, right?” That was in all the papers, so it was common knowledge.
“Sure.”
