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“How the hell do you know Finn Murdoch?”
Rowan blanched. “Wh-what?”
“You heard me. Are you sleeping with him?”
The fury in his voice pushed her back, and she clutched the kitchen chair. “I thought you came to talk about the issues at work. I’ve—”
“Answer my question.”
He stood there, just inside her door, not taking a step, hands clenched at his sides. He was pissed. Shit. This wasn’t how she wanted to tell him. “Gerard—”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Answer me.”
“Fine.” She threw up her hands and walked past him to the living room. “No, I am not sleeping with Finn Murdoch. Is that what you want to hear?” As if. She shuddered.
“How does that man even know you?” He stood there for a long moment, glaring at her.
Rowan had a very strong feeling this was a make or break moment between them. Everything balanced on this conversation. “I can explain.”
He nodded. “Yes. Explain. Exactly what is your relationship with the Murdoch empire?”
How could she tell him, convince him, make him understand? “I got firsthand experience seeing how the Murdochs run their business, and I didn’t like it. At all.”
His glare got worse. He tipped his head just a fraction to the side, his eyes devolving to slits. “There’s more to it than that.”
“Why?”
“Because I saw Finn tonight, and he told me to give you his love. It sounded like he was very familiar with you.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Leave it to her brother to make her life miserable. Rowan thought she’d left his machinations behind when she left the company. No such luck.
“Just so you know, I didn’t lie. I-I omitted something.”
The look of consternation on his face had her backpedaling.
“Okay, so omission is a kind of lie, and I’m sorry. But you would never have given me a chance if you’d known.” She advanced on him. “I’m good at what I do, and I believe in Barrett Investment. You’ve seen that. You know me, Gerard.”
She put a hand up, intending to place it on his chest. She needed the contact, the reassurance. But he stepped back, closer to the door he’d never closed, away from her, so Rowan dropped her hand.
“One last time: What is your relationship to Finn Murdoch?” he ground out.
She looked down at the floor. He wasn’t going to believe anything she said. He had already made up his mind. “He’s my brother,” she whispered.
When she looked up, he was already out the door and down the first flight of steps. She raced to the railing. “Wait. I know who’s sabotaging your company.”
He paused and looked up, his face devoid of any emotion except hatred. “So do I.”
Rowan backed up as if he’d slapped her across the face. He thought it was her? She leaned against the hallway wall, her heart dying a little more with each footstep as he pounded away from her. She didn’t move until the building door slammed shut, then she stumbled back into her apartment, shut the door, and collapsed on the couch, covering her face with her hands. She couldn’t catch her breath and gasped as panic shredded her life like a Ginsu knife, one bold, deep slice at a time.
“What have I done?” He hadn’t given her a chance to defend herself. Did she deserve it, really? She should have told him, right from the start. Well, maybe not that soon. She wouldn’t have gotten her foot in the door if she had. Maybe when they started working on the Scott proposal, a client currently handled by her father and brother’s company. And she definitely should have told him before they went to bed together.
All that paled in comparison to the hole in her heart that now filled with the icy tendrils of dread, like the wafting smoke from dry ice. Pain because she had feelings for him. Oh God, she loved the man. How could she have gotten so deeply involved? And now, he’d never give her a chance to explain. He’d never let her tell him why she’d done what she did.
And she’d never feel the impact of his devastating smile, see those intense eyes lit with a fire meant only for her.
“What have I done?” Rowan said again. She curled into a fetal position as the misery washed over her. Everything she’d tried to accomplish in her career had just gone down the drain, but even that paled to the pain she felt over never getting the chance to be with Gerard again. How had she let this happen? The man had gotten under her skin and snuck into her heart without her noticing. Now, when she was so close to grasping everything she’d ever wanted, and the one thing she’d never thought possible for her—love—it had been torn out of her grasp by her own simple omission.
She had to do something. But what? She lay there, miserable and spent, well into the night, trying to figure out how she could turn things around. She should be angry. The man she loved had jumped to conclusions—labeled her guilty—without giving her a chance to explain. Whipping up righteous anger took more energy than she could muster. That would have to wait. Right now, she needed to prioritize. First things first. Barrett Investment Group needed to know what she found. Gerard needed to know, but how? He wouldn’t believe her. Ready for the stab to her heart, it still stole her breath. She hugged a couch pillow tight to her chest, wishing the pain away. She needed to think.
