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‘It’s okay, baby. You’ll be okay.’
‘I won’t,’ she sobbed against my chest, her half-washed hair sending suds down over my arms. ‘It’s my fault. He’s dead, and it’s my fault.’
‘Look at me,’ I said firmly, tipping her face upward. ‘None of this is your fault. Not a single moment of it. It’s all down to men with too much power, thinking they can control the world. I spoke with Logan briefly, and your dad is in a bad way, but he’s not dead. He’s in hospital and they are doing what they can. Do you remember the last thing he said to you?’
‘To have the baby.’
‘He softened because you are carrying his grandchild. He gave you his blessing.’ I still couldn’t believe it. My child was growing in her, and emotion rocked me at the thought. It wasn’t the time to be celebrating, though, not when she needed me.
‘What about Maeve? I came back to help her.’
I took a cloth and washed her face, clearing the tears, snot, and dried blood from her cut. ‘Maeve doesn’t want you to ruin your life for her, any more than you’d let her do it for you. She told me she isn’t the family baby anymore, and she is happy to look after herself.’
‘I can’t let Harold take her.’
‘You need to look after you and the wee one.’ I spread my hand over her stomach, and she stared at it there before placing her hand on top.
‘You don’t think it’s too soon? We haven’t even started a relationship yet.’
‘I love you, Esther. Despite you being the brattiest little thing, because of it maybe. You are sweet and strong and loving and for weeks now, all I’ve wanted is to spend the rest of my life making you smile. If you feel like it’s too soon, then I’ll support you in that, but for me? I want to keep you and the baby, forever. I want to marry you and call you my wife. I love you so fucking much it hurts.’
Her tears started anew as she threw her arms around my neck, covering me in shampoo and water as I grinned. ‘I thought I was going crazy for falling for you as quickly as I did, but every day, all I wanted was to find a way back into your arms. I love you too.’
‘I’m sorry that things went down the way they did, and I’m sorry about what happened to your dad. I don’t know how I’ll make it up to you, but I’ll find a way.’
‘It’s not your action to be absolved of. It’s Harold’s. We both know he doesn’t know the meaning of being sorry. I want to kill him. I don’t know how I’ll leave knowing he’s going to go on unchecked.’
‘You have to. For our family.’
‘I know.’
‘Now, sit still while I finish washing you, and then, we’ll find something for you to wear. We need to get out of here as soon as Dave comes back with the documents.’
‘Where will we go?’
‘Anywhere you like.’
‘Did you tell them where you found me?’ She looked back at me over her shoulders, and I saw the first glimmer of hope in her eyes.
‘Only that it was in Spain.’
‘Then I want to go back to the taverna, back to Eva and Jock. We can find a little place there and I can work and pretend like I’m just a normal person. Not a fugitive.’
‘If that’s what you want, baby, then that’s what we’ll do.’
I’d have preferred somewhere new, somewhere that they didn’t know to look, but for Esther, I’d do anything.
I just hoped Jock wouldn’t greet me with a shotgun this time.
FORTY-ONE
ESTHER
The sun warmed my face as we walked up the hill, Alec supporting Gladys on his arm. The bus had dropped us at the foot of the road, just like when I had arrived previously, but this time I wasn’t alone. Alec was there, supporting me every step of the way. Between Gladys’s company and our dotting about the country from bus to bus to avoid being trailed, never mind flying into France and travelling down into Spain, we’d barely had a moment alone together.
When I’d caught him looking at me as I changed out of my sweaty top and into a summer dress, with those intense blue eyes, it made my stomach fill with butterflies. After Harold had tried to force himself on me, Alec seemed reluctant to make any sort of sexual move. With the trauma we’d both suffered at seeing my dad shot, I was wary about opening up at first too. What if Harold found us, and it ripped us apart all over again? My heart was as bruised as my face had been, and I’d needed time and distance from my world to feel free again.
I hoped it would last.
