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She was right, but still.
‘Do you think it will still work?’
‘Yeah, I wrapped it in foil first. I’m not an idiot,’ Maeve said. grabbing a slice and taking a bite, revealing the sliver of silver poking out beneath.
I took it in trembling fingers and slipped it up my sleeve. I had seen no cameras in the apartment, but I didn’t put it past Harold to be monitoring me.
‘Bathroom?’ I said.
‘Bathroom.’
We locked ourselves in, flicking on the shower to add some noise over our conversation, just in case.
‘Do you really think you might be pregnant?’ she whispered as I opened the packet.
‘I’m three days late.’
‘Didn’t you use protection?’
‘We didn’t have any, and it seemed pointless. I meant to get a pill when I came home, but I had no time. I don’t want to ask Harold for some. Not until I at least know.’
‘It could just be stress,’ Maeve said, turning her back to me as I sat on the toilet and peed. Placing the cover over the end of the test, I turned it over and set it on the windowsill, swallowing hard.
‘I hope it’s just stress.’ Did I, though? I certainly didn’t intend to be pregnant with one man’s baby while marrying another, but it would let me keep a little piece of Alec for myself. It was selfish and stupid, but my heart leapt at the thought.
‘Harold will make you get rid of it,’ Maeve said, sitting on the edge of the tub while I washed my hands.
‘Only if he knew about it. I don’t think it will take him long to--‘ I swallowed hard, the thought of Harold on top of me making me want to hurl. ‘To consummate the marriage. And I can hide a two or three-week discrepancy.’
We waited, side by side, as Maeve reached out and held my hand. Taking a steadying breath, I reached out and held the test up. Two lines stood out against the white, as bold as you like.
‘Fuck,’ I whispered.
‘Fuck,’ Maeve agreed. ‘I don’t know whether to hug you, or cry for you.’
‘Both,’ I said as a tear fled down my cheek, a whole plethora of emotions tipping over my head. Maeve wrapped me up in her arms, and the close contact broke through me anew. Within a few weeks, my whole life had been turned upside down. I went from a single woman living with my family, having barely a care, to being engaged to a monster with another man’s baby inside of me, and having felt what love could be only to have it ripped away.
‘You’ll be okay,’ Maeve said, holding me close as I sobbed into her hair.
‘I won’t.’ I sniffed as I reached for some toilet tissue, wiping at my snotty nose.
‘Will you tell Alec?’
‘No, I can’t. It would kill him. All he’s ever wanted is a family of his own, and he’d end up getting himself shot over it. It’s not worth him dying over. He’ll move on, eventually, and meet a nice girl and be able to fill her with babies.’ The thought of him with someone else made my blood boil, however hypocritically. ‘no one else can know. Swear you won’t tell.’
Maeve’s eyebrows furrowed before she nodded with a sigh. ‘Alright, I won’t tell him, but I still think you owe it to him to let him know.’
He deserved to know but knowing would be too painful. It was a secret I was going to have to keep from him. For his safety and the baby’s. Harold would kill them both otherwise.
‘Here,’ Maeve said, fishing something from her pocket before placing it in my hand. ‘You ought to have Mum’s necklace back.’
‘Thank you,’ I said, slipping it around my neck and clasping it at the back before carefully wrapping the pregnancy test back in the foil and slipping it up my sleeve. It wouldn’t be able to go out the way it came in, so I’d have to find alternate means of getting rid of it. The rubbish bin definitely wasn’t a safe option, with Harold’s penchant for control.
Maeve stopped before we exited the bathroom, letting her hand graze my stomach as she smiled. ‘I’m looking forward to being Aunty M.’
I shared her smile before removing her hand and gripping her fingers in my own.
‘We still have nine months before then. First, I have to get through the wedding and survive that long.’
